(Romeo) Lee’s Night (June 28)

If it's Tuesday night, then it must be Lee's Night at Mag:net Katipunan Avenue.

Finally, after being scheduled for three consecutive Tuesdays, we've finally made it to play on Lee's Night. June 11 was the first scheduled gig but we were not able to practice, on June 22, our drummer was sick, now, all was well and we were so ready to play!

I invited Nick, my best friend to watch our gig, but he had something else to do. Then he said, "Sa Martes? Pina-plug yan ni Julia Clarete sa Bulagaan ah! Tutugtog daw sila." I did not know and answered, "Talaga? Baka next week pa, kasama ang Brass Munkeys."

Talking about being excited to finally making it to Lee's night, we were at Mag:net real early, Lee wasn't even there yet so we waited outside while having some beer. Then a cab stopped nearby, and out a slim girl wearing a (really) short and sexy printed sea blue dress with matching scarf on the neck, a thick anklet and high heeled slip-ons. Oh yes, it's Julia Clarete. And… was that Kuya Danny? The guy from FA? Undoubtedly, Julia would be tonight's front(wo)man of Maniac Kiss

We prepared six original songs (Kalai, Hush, Parusa, Juday, Fantasy, Eto) for our set, which was actually a much longer set than a regular 3-song-15-minute gig. Lee asked for five songs for the past schedules but we lined-up six, making "Kalai" a 'sound-check song' for an excuse. We practiced "Soon" by the Moonpools and Caterpilars and "Torpe" by Barbie's Cradle (?) but did not pursued on them. Little did we know that we would be fronting for Julia. And littler did we know that there would only be two bands this time, we would have used the covers and more original songs that we rarely play because of the usual gig time limit.

Waiting for more guests, we hung around for about two hours before the night started. Mag:net is a free jam zone sometimes so after setting up, we tuned up the amps, toned down the volumes (so low that we were the only ones who could hear our instruments) and jammed some songs like we were just drinking beer one afternoon on a corner sari-sari store. Lee's nights are just so spontaneous and fun!

Finally, Lee introduced us. We're on a roll. I thought we were going turbo because after a few minutes, we were down to our last song. Then Lee said we should have prepared around 10 songs to make our set longer, because there were only two bands. Sayang.

Then came Julia onstage, with a cigarette on one hand a bottle of beer on the other. A few minutes of set up and they're the ones on a roll this time. They did some blues and rock and roll. We were requesting some Led Zep but they didn't give, instead, they did the Police and Beatles. Julia was rocking and all. She was talking to everyone near her, I was sitting so near her, my feet were resting on the stage, and she almost touched my ear when she kidded to pull my chain earrings. Then made a peace sign with her fingers over her forehead. She made good spiels, and jokes to some members of the audience, I thought she was doing stand up comedy. Seen her in Bulagaan? She's more maharot this time. I couldn't help myself I blurted "Bulagaan na 'to!" Seen her in Bulagaan? She's nothing there compared here – dancing sensually and wildly, bending over to pick up her Pale beer on the floor in her mini dress… know what I'm saying?

I couldn't finish Julia's set so I said goodbye and thanks to Lee. As my bandmates were staying, I joked that before going home, they should wipe away their drool.


29 June 2005 | 02:21 AM

Awesome Ska-pade (June 24)

Once again, a tiring day but also a Skanking one. I wonder if Ska night is equal to work-out day. My first Awesome Ska-pade, though I did not mention, had me running around the general UP area making some things done, and getting all soaked in the pouring rain, and being stuck in a really, really heavy traffic on my way to Makati in the earlier part of the day. The next one got me traveling from Caloocan to QC to Ortigas to Meycauyan before finally skanking again in Makati. This time, I spent 1/3 of my day traveling from Caloocan to UP to Sto. Domingo Church, and walking from Sto. Domingo Church with fellow anti-GMA marchers to the QC-Manila Rotonda and that's under the scorching sun, then walking and traveling back to UP to pick up some stuffs, then traveling to Timog and walking down to Kolumn Bar to finally do some dancing.

Yep, skanking night has always been preceded by a work out day. Not to mention that dancing ska is a work-out in itself.

Though it's a new venue, the usual PiliSKApinas bands were there for a SKA MAX night: SMB, Out for Lunch, The Usual Suspects and Shuffle Union, plus, the remarkable Skabeche. Also present were the usual Ska City United crowds. Unlike going to rock and alternative gigs, I could easily recognize the familiar faces. Ska City has its following, I wouldn't wonder why the familiar skanormals and skinheads. I have been one of them for the past couple of skankings.

The habitual dancing and frolicking started already. I took some time to rest on a chair already reserved for me by my skamates. We were sitting next to some dread heads' table. Taking a second look at the dread heads, I recognized that they were the Rubadub vocalist and guitarist. When The Usual Suspects were up, we went to the dance floor until it was Shuffle Union. We were to stay there in anticipation of Skabeche but some dancers got a little rowdy. These were people that were not exactly one of our usual crowds. They were doing the ska alright but then they started pushing each other and body slamming we had to back away a little. But then again, the girl on the mic called on an imported ska vocalist from Cebu. I'm so sorry I forgot her name but I got her face clearly pictured on my mind. I'm sure to catch her again in another ska night, though. And so she went up the stage, got the mic and greeted everyone in Cebuano. Then with all enthusiasm, she exclaimed "Come on Eileen!" Like any other ska nights, I grabbed my skamates and took the middle front of the dance floor. This song just always got me on my feet and dance enthusiastically. Like any ska other night, "Come on Eileen" got me excitedly and willingly dancing like no more ska nights would ever follow. Tonight, like any other ska nights, my name was Eileen!


25 June 2005 | 03:50 AM

(Romeo) Lee’s Night (June 14)

If it's Tuesday night, then it must be Lee's Night at Mag:net Katipunan Avenue. Again.

Lee personally invited me to have my band play this Tuesday, but unfortunately, we were not able to practice. We haven't practiced full band for a long time because of a "series of unfortunate events", but that's another story.

Anyway, I suggested Sajama to play – Papa John's (our guitarist) other band. But unfortunately, Brig (their drummer, and our sessionist) was sick. BUT on the fortunate side, Lee was also having arrangements with The Brew's front man Doc. I told Lee to ask for Doc's help to come up with a good line up.

I went there alone. ORG friends were not yet there. But friends from the UP Underground Music Community (UG) crowded the veranda. The line up -- Aizo - one of my favorites, Slow Dive, Oi Wag Dito!, and Chubibo, Doc's other band. The Brew did not make it. The only band that did not come from UG was G2 and the Bundocks.

It was a good line up but I was not able to finish the show. I was so sleepy I had to leave in the middle of Chubibo's (the last band to play) first song. Sorry Irene.

Next time.


15 June 2005 | 3:46 AM

Awesome Ska-pade (June 11)

I had a tiring day, I was up at 10 AM and was late for Chaddao's swimming party in Balara which started at 10 and ended at 4 PM. Then ran late (again) to Asia Pacific Film Institute in Ortigas to catch our short film's debut at 4. Then hurried to Meycauyan to attend my cousin's bridal shower. I got there at 9 then rushed back to Manila at 11. "Rushing back to Manila" from Meycauyan is an understatement. I actually rushed to Makati.

11:50 PM was an unholy time for air-con busses with LRT-Ayala routes in EDSA. And for some unknown reason, cabs were scarce too. I thought I'd better go home. But I wouldn't want to miss this night, anyway, patience is a virtue.

My patience paid off and I still made it to Ska City United's PiliSKApinas (the album) launch, though I missed most of the bands and the giving away of CDs. I was tired from all the commuting, the waits and the walks. I was really tired but not too tired to still do some skanking. No time to waste, the minute that I got inside Heckle and Jeckle, I put down my bag to one of the chairs and joined my friends and the dancing crowd. Unlike last week, my friends and I were not in the middle front this time. Unlike last week, I would only get to dance an hour max because it's down to the last band. That being the case, I poured all my remaining energy cavorting. When the vocalist announced "Come on Eileen", I felt all too refreshed. "Come on Eileen" has always been one of my favorite skas. I told myself, yep, it's true. Patience, really is a virtue!


12 June 2005 | 3:15 AM

(Romeo) Lee’s Night (June 7)

If it's Tuesday night, then it must be Lee's Night at Mag:net Katipunan Avenue.

Friends from UP ORG (Outdoor Recreation Group) have been inviting me to see Lee's Night every Tuesday but this was the first time that I was able to attend. I received a text message from Chantel a few minutes before 8 PM. This was one of the very few instances that I was able to eat dinner, wash the dishes, freshen and dress up in under 30 minutes. It was a tough challenge. All the way from Caloocan, I arrived in Mag:net at about 9:30 while they were still having dinner at the Meat Shop in Xavierville. I wandered around Loyola Heights for a while, looking for a place that sold my cigarette brand. I came back 15 minutes after and they were already there.

We did not go upstairs to see the bands play until it was almost 10:30. While downstairs, a couple of dread heads came, then a guy carrying a pair of bongos, then some boys, yes, boys – young men, clutching wind instruments with them. There were only three bands playing that night, Ampon, Bellfast, and Rubadub. I guessed this band's Rubadub.

The place was small so some 40 people already crowded the floor. Among the crowd was no less than Ces Drilon. (They said she's the owner of the bar.) The second band was already playing when we settled to a corner. They did some Linkin Park. They did originals. They were fine. After their set, Lee went up the stage, made his trademark hosting skills and introduced the band with the dread heads and horny boys. Yes, I was right, they're Rubadub – the name suggested their kind of music and when I saw these guys with the 'dos and percs, I knew they were the type who'd do dub.

Since I only had 2 minutes to dress up, I wore an army-camouflage shirt, which I just grabbed from the closet. One of the dread heads was wearing an army-camouflage jacket. So my friends teased me that I should go up the stage with Rubadub and sound-check with "my band mates" since my hair and outfit coordinated with the band members'. Teasing lasted for about 5 minutes, but it didn't matter because the band was busy setting up, they did not hear us.

I stood up from my bar stool, I knew it would be sing-along-and-dance time again. Rubadub's first song: "Iron Lion Zion". Then an orig, then "Redemption Song", then two origs, then "Stir it Up", then "Exodus", then a song request written on a piece of tissue paper. I was near the stage so I was able to read what the request was "Santa Ria by Sublimb". Oh come on! Well, anyway, again, it did not matter because they pulled it off quite okay. It was Santeria by Sublime! They did two more Bob Marley songs and joked that they were actually doing a "Bob Marley Tribute".

Rubadub was good. Their original songs were in Filipino. If I remember it right, one of their songs was about the youth, one was about music, and one was about love. Or was it that the songs about the youth and music were actually one and the same song? Sheesh…

Oh well…

They plugged for their next gig in Gasoline Alley this Friday. Maybe I'll go there. Maybe I will stalk them because they looked like good people. And they played well and looked like they were having fun while on stage (which, I learned from experience, is an essential in playing with a band). Oh, did I mention that the horny boys (those boys with the trumpets and saxophone; horns) looked like they were just passing by when they suddenly decided to go with the band to a gig. One of them had the pinabili lang ng suka ng nanay nya look – big grayish cotton sando with arm holes down to the waist and baggy denim pants. Haha! Cute! A little move and your nipples would wave at me boy!

Anyway, the two bands that we caught were good. Rubadub was good. Or I was biased because they do reggae. Lee was spontaneously witty and fun. He even told me that if I could arrange it, my band could play on his nights, while he's still there "dahil baka mawala na ako", referring to passing away (because of old age). Haha! Nice one Lee!

I wish of more Tuesdays like this. I also get to be with Chantel. But that's another story.

If it's Tuesday night, then it must be Lee's Night at Mag:net Katipunan Avenue.


08 June 2005 | 10:10 PM

Awesome Ska-pade (June 04)

Somebody dropped drunk on the floor – a big man on his middle 40s, wearing a white football jersey, denim pants and rubber shoes. The other people in the dance floor, all around his age too, looked at him. One by one, they came near him, forwarded one foot, and teasingly stepped on his beer belly. These feet were all in their boots – the Doc Martens-type with stitches of fat, yellow (in some cases, white) thread on the side of the sole. I believe these were their dancing boots. The other bunch of people who were not wearing boots were the younger ones, mostly my age (early 20s). Most of them were male and wearing all kinds of polo shirts – plain dark colored ones, striped, and checkered – all three buttons closed up to the neck. Two or three of them wore pin-stripe plaid pants, one was wearing a cotton slip-on shoes with chess-board design.

Most of the men, regardless of age, had shaved heads – yes, skinheads. There were only a few women in the dance floor and one of them was me.

I was wearing my salmon pink tank top, my long braided hair with three phatty knattys (haha!) and my tartan corduroy pants. It was pouring really hard when I went to the place, but I was not wearing my rain boots which doubled as dancing boots, or vice versa. These boots are actually kinda like the (if I remember it right) go-go boots of the 70's – the tall leather boots. But it did not matter. I still danced my butt from 11 PM to 3 AM, with all these people who danced really well.

Okay, I will be specific. I danced my butt from 11 PM to 3 AM, with all these people who danced really well. Who danced ska really well. It's CLUB SKA Manila's comeback production last Saturday, a Ska Festival at Heckle and Jeckle Makati.

I was really surprised by the crowd who were there for the festival (the other crowds were there for the billiards and the friggin 80-pesos-per-bottle beer). The ska crowd was really amazing, as I described – outfits, dance moves, hairdo (or lack thereof), and all that jazz. Or should I say, and all that ska? *wink*

All the bands were remarkable – outfits and the whole ensemble – guitarists, bassists, vocalists wearing dark glasses, funky keyboardists and the "horny" men in the "horny section" – trumpets and all.

Okay, imagine a band playing on a small stage, a front-liner crowd of around 15 middle-aged people who all knew each other, wearing their hats and boots, dancing in a small area approximately 2 x 2 meters (only).

Imagine the front-liner crowd of around 15 middle-aged people. (They were the coolest 15 middle-aged people I've seen since the ones who partied at the old TOP 40 Bar in Caloocan). They looked like our moms – with black leather handbag slung on one shoulder while dancing, and our dads – on checkered short-sleeved polo and reading glasses. There were two couples – one pair was dancing ska on a Judge Dread song and the other one was doing a little something like boogie. The others, all men, were swinging their hips and beer belly forward and backward, knees bent, feet kicking. They were all energetic and buoyant, stomping and frolicking around to the beat. Awesome sight, really! I was enjoying the dancing and the sight-seeing as well!

Though I was wearing my ever-reliable 50-peso worth rubber slippers, I still wished I was wearing my boots. I cannot wait for the next ska-pade where I will put my best (dancing) foot forward while another skanormal drops drunk on the dance floor. Needless to say, "not many people can cha-cha-cha, not everybody can do the twist, but everybody can do the ska, it's a dance you can't resist!"


05 June 2005 | 4:10 PM

Sa Saguijo sa Guijo

June 04, 2005. I thought all roads led to this petite and cozy bar that night. There were Twisted Halo, Cambio, Itchyworms, Sandwich, Sugarfree, and it's Ebe's birthday. But I "attended" the "birthday party" to see Jr. Kilat. Yes, that reggae band from Cebu. This was the first time that I saw the whole band play live. But I have seen Budoy (their front man) play (all meanings apply) live a couple of times before, with Tropical Depression and Pepe Smith. The Legendary Pepe Smith.

It was raining and all the seats inside were either taken or reserved. My friends and I stood beside the bar. We looked at the menu and selected the food we wanted to have, if by any chance, a table would get cleared. 30 minutes passed but the place just kept on filling up. The reserved table beside me started to have its guests – Kris Dancel, Vin Dancel…you got the picture.

"Sound Check" echoed. Budoy and his gadget were taking up center stage. I warned my friends "I really like this band but I don't understand what they sing about. It's in Bisaya." They laughed. They thought I was joking. My friends are not really into live band shows (the only event of this sort that they go to is the annual UP Fair), I was the one who begged so we could pass by this gig. They were not familiar with Jr. Kilat. Budoy greeted the audience, in pure Bisaya. My friends were in utter shock.

Jr. Kilat played four songs from their album, "Party People You're on Dub TV". Then my friends asked me to leave and go to Crocodile's Grill at Greenbelt 3 to eat. Though I still wanted to see the other bands play, especially Sugarfree, I had to comply, I've already seen Jr. Kilat. So they went outside to wait for me while I say goodbye to Budoy. He said he could not go chitchatting with me yet because they were asked for an interview.

On my way out, I saw Echo (of Boldstar) we exchanged hi's and hello's, he said they won't be playing but Itchyworms would, where his bro Chino plays. I thought I could make it back there before Itchyworms' set time so I sent Chino a message to tell him that I would be back with my friends. But we never made it. Sad.

Anyway, I saw another friend, Pierre Cruz, who used to shoot for Pulp Magazine. He called me over to introduce me to Raymund Marasigan and Buddy Zabala. Talk about getting starstruck, huh? But I managed. :)

Going out of the place required a skill of an escape artist like Harry Houdini. It was really jam packed. Since it was the first time that I went to Saguijo, I wondered if the place is always that full. I wondered if it's just because of the line up (by Admit One and Revolver Productions), Ebe's birthday, or all roads just really led there that night.

Sa Saguijo sa Guijo.


05 June 2005 | 10:38 PM

Bata Bata, Paano ka Ginawa?* (part I)

*pasintabi kay Bb. Lualhati Bautista IPIS I am not afraid of ghosts (maybe because I really haven't encountered one, face to face) but I believe they exist. I am not afraid of *insert dad's Queen cassette tape here* thunderbolts and lightning – very, very frightening, not me. I am not afraid of death. But I am afraid of cockroaches. They scare me, especially when they fly, in so many ways than one. I get goosebumps when I see one flying around. My friend Ngort said they don't have eyes, which make them even scarier. They don't see where they're going, or landing. No wonder why I see some of them forcefully slap their yucky bodies on walls and curtains.

I started fearing them when I was about five or six. One sunny afternoon while biking in the block, I saw one of my playmates sitting happily on top of their red boxy Lancer. She waved at me happily. I stopped and chatted with her for a while when I noticed this huge red bump in the middle of her forehead. It was so big I thought she exchanged her face for a humungous pantal!

"Anong nangyari sa noo mo?!" I quipped. "Nakagat ng Ipis!" she said.

PUTCHA!

Para shang pantal na tinubuan ng mukha!

Then there, I feared the dreadful ipis! I thought they were powerful. So powerful that they turned the face of my playmate into an enormously red bump that would pass as a saucer where mom puts her patis when eating sinigang!

I wished I never asked why she had that red bump on her forehead so I would have never acquired this alarming fright of the dreadful (and powerful) ipis! What kind of kid would not have a phobia of something so small but so monstrous it could change your looks instantly from a pretty face to a pretty saucer with hair?!

---

PENDONG!

Nuts (my ex-boyfriend) and I have always thought of saving up for a Volkswagen beetle car when we were still together. But now that we're not together any longer, I'm not sure if he would still want to get one,but I still would. Old school beetles are less expensive than other car models for some reasons: one, they are small and most of them did not have built in air-conditioning units; two, they have long been out of "fashion"; three, only a few people find them good-looking, some kids today even find it odd-looking; and four, they are hunchbacked! Who would want a hunchbacked car? I would. I still will.

We cannot deny it, no matter how beautiful a beetle may be, it is, and will forever be kuba! KOTSENG KUBA! If it were in a fantaserye, it could turn into something gorgeous like Ann Curtis, after swinging up and down a bell's rope cable in a bell tower somewhere in ABS-CBN.

When I was a kid, I never understood the essence of that phrase (or statement) and the actions that came with it. I never found anything funny about being kuba, or kalbo (Pendong! May Kalbo!). I was born in 1982 and the only kuba that I knew was Nana Baste, my Yaya Nora's 80-year old mother. Not until my family moved to Caloocan (from Bulacan) in 1991. Most of my cousins live here so I had a lot of playmates, mostly their kids (I was second to the youngest of around 30 Sanchez Cousins). So I played bahay-bahayan and teacher-teacheran with my nieces and nephews, most of them a few years older than me. My cousin Ate Do had a maroon-ish beetle. Here's where the story begins.

Ate Do and her husband always took the Kuba (sorry but that's how I really call a beetle) to work. Their Unica Hija Ching, my niece who's 20 months older than me, would go to my house almost everyday, or vice versa. We would play most of the day, depended upon the time of our classes and we had morning classes most of our elementary school lives. On times that I was the one who went to Ching's place, where some 6 more nieces and nephews lived because it was kind of a compound, I always heard that "pendong" phrase whenever Ate Do's Kuba came to the driveway. All my nephews and nieces would pass pendongs around like a basketball team playing their last 24-second shot clock – it happened fast, and one person got more than one pendong at once. Can you imagine? They all moved fast, making sure the pass (of the pendong) would be received and nobody avoided the pass – it was really like a basketball team, save for the annoying grins on their faces, and the chaos. It happened every single workday, except when the Kuba stayed for the day.

I cannot deny it but I also got a lot "pendongs" in my childhood.

I am not sure if the kids today still do that pendong thing. Maybe they do but the original Kuba is so scarce kids do not really have the kismet to get their own dose of pendong. I don't think they give away pendongs when they see the new toy-car looking hunchback from Toyota.

I also dreamt of having one of those for my own – what was that Toyota model? Was that Toyota? I forgot. Anyway, I've always liked the old Foksvagin (Volkswagen) Beetle. I think I'll have mine in shiny purple, pink, or yellow. Sleek stainless bumpers and side mirrors, high-freon ACU and tinted windows, and maybe a flower somewhere to complete the hippie look. Pretty huh? But then again, no matter how pretty my auto will be, Kuba is still, and forever will be Kuba.

24 May 2005 | 2:04 AM

Mga Bespren kong Pipi

Hindi ko pinili ito pero siguro, ito talaga ang nakatadhana sa akin. Ang kama ko ang isa sa mga pinakamatatalik kong kaibigan. Siya ang nakakaalam ng mga pinakatatago kong mga sikreto. Alam niya kung ilang ulit na akong umiyak. Alam rin niya kung paano akong kiligin, o matuwa. Alam niya kung ilang ulit ko nang binalak pumatay, o magpakamatay.

Hindi naman sa may tendency akong maging murderer, o suicidal, ngunit siya lamang talaga ang nakabilang kung ilang beses na akong halos mamatay sa kakatawa, o kakaiyak, habang may kausap sa telepono't nakahiga ako sa kaniya. Siya rin ang nakakaalam kung ilang ulit ko nang binalak patayin ang mga alaala ng ilang lumipas na pagmamahal o pagkabigo, at alam niya rin kung bakit.

Ah, oo nga pala, hindi pala siya nag-iisa. Kasama rin niya ang aking mga unan at mga kumot. Ang mga unan ko ang nagsisilbing mga tiga-bilang ng mga luhang pumapatak sa aking mga mata. Sila rin ang nagtatakip sa aking mga tenga kapag may ayaw akong marinig, halimbawa'y ang pagtunog ng telepono, o ang ingay ng ate kong kumakanta tuwing umaga kahit sintunado paminsan-minsan. Ang mga unan ko rin tumutulong sa aking hindi makita ang maliwanag na sikat ng araw sa umaga. Ngunit sila rin ang tumutulong sa aking managinip at makatulog ng mahimbing sa gabi.

Ang mga kumot ko naman ang tagaprotekta sa akin mula lamig, o sa lamok, minsa'y pati sa kilabot ng mga pusang nagse-sex sa bubungan ng kapitbahay. Maingay ang mga ito't parang mga batang umiiyak. Pero nariyan naman ang aking mga pinakamatatalik na kaibigan. Ang kumot ko rin ang tumatalukbong sa akin sa dilim kapag bigla akong nagising sa gitna ng gabi dahil sa isang masamang panaginip. Ngunit higit sa lahat, siya ang nagsisilbing tigapahid ng aking luha.

Sa umaga, paggising ko pa lamang ay nariyan na sila't nagkakagulo. Mga salasalabat na unan at kumot sa ibabaw ng kamang sinamahan ako sa buong magdamag. At iiwanan ko silang ganyan ang ayos. Hindi ko sila nililigpit, kahit palaging sinasabi ng mommy ko. Ayoko kasing isipin nilang may paboratismo ako sa kung sinong maiipit sa ilalim o magiging matayog sa ibabaw kapag pinagpatong patong ko sila. Masyado kasi akong madaming unan at tatlong normal ang sukat at limang maliliit, yun bang throw pillows. Pero ang hindi nila alam ay may paborito nga ako sa kanila. Yun bang throw pillow na ang damit at tinahi ko mula sa malambot canvass at ginuhitan ko ng imahe ng boar incarnation of Vishnu mula sa tinta ng fountain pen, kaya nga hindi ko ito hinihigaan. At lalong hindi ko iniiyakan, sapagkat madali siyang marurumihan at baka kumalat ang tinta nito. Kaya nga hindi ko ito pinapalabhan sa labandera. Ako mismo ang maingat na maingat na naglalaba nito.

Kahit hindi sila sumasagot sa tuwing tinatanong ko ng "ano bang ginawa kong masama?" o ng "sa tingin mo, gusto kaya niya ako?" ay gusting gusto ko pa ring nagkukuwento sa kanila. At lalong hindi ko inililihim sa kanila ang mga galit ko't mga problema. Pero sa isang banda, ang hindi nila pagsagot ang nagbibigay sa akin ng tunay na kalayaang umiyak, o humagulgol sa gabi. Ang lambot nila ang nagpapahintulot sa akin na matuwa o manggigil sa kanila at kurut-kurutin, o yakapin ng naaapaaakahigpit! Nuong bata pa ako't umalis ang nanay ko papuntang ibang bansa, yakap ako ng yakap sa kanila. Pinagdidikit dikit ko yung malalaking unan at yayakapin ng mahigpit, mataba kasi ang nanay ko. Kunwari, sila iyon. At ako'y bigla na lamang maiiyak. Ganundin sa una kong boypren. Dalawang taong naging kami pero ni minsan ay hindi ko siya nayakap. Sabi ko, "pag nagkita kami ulit ay yayakapin ko siya ng ganito" at yayapusin ang mga unan. Naiiyak ako tuwing ginagawa ko iyon dati. Dating dati.

Pero ngayon naman, kapag namimiss ko na ang aking boypren ay kinakausap ko rin sila. At natutulog ng yakap yakap ang isa sa kanila. Nakangiti akong matutulog at nakangiti ring magigising. Pero tuwing makakaproblema, lahat ng unan ko'y nilalagay ko sa aking paanan. Ayokong may katabi. Isa lamang na ulunan at isang nasa tapat ng mukha, wari bang kinakausap. Nilalabas ko ang lahat ng aking emosyon. Ang mga luha, galit, at ginagamit ko ang unang katapat ng aking mukha upang takpan ang aking pagsigaw. Upang hindi ako marinig ng mga nasa kabilang kwarto. Mahirap kasing magkaroon ng boypren na Chinese. Lalo't ayaw sa Pilipina ng nanay niya. Hay naku.

Madami na akong naihingang sama ng loob sa mga unan kong ito. Marami nang pinawing pagod ang aking kama. At ilang bagyo na rin akong pinrotektahan ng aking mga kumot. Libu-libong luha na ang pumatak sa kanila. Libu-libong katuwaan na rin ang naipagdiwang ko ng kasama sila. Sila ang nakakaalam ng mga bagay na tanging ako lang ang may alam. Sigurado akong ganun ka rin sa kama mo. Mga bagay na ikaw at ikaw lamang ang nakakaalam. Pasalamat ka sa mga kasama mo sa gabi na tahimik kang dinadantayan para maidaos ang magdamag.

Kalahati ng araw ko'y sila ang lagi kong kasama. Napakarami na nilang nalalaman tungkol sa akin. Alam kong napakatibay na ng aming bonding at hindi na mawawala ang loyalty nila sa akin. Nasasaksihan nila ang mga tangka ko sa kamatayan, o sa mga muling pagkabuhay. Totoo ngang hindi ko ito pinili pero ang aking mga tahimik na kaibigan ang hinding hindi ako iniwanan kahit kailan. Sila nga ang mga tunay na makakapaglahad ng kwento ko kung sakaling minsan sa sobrang kasiyahan o kalungkutan ay ako’y matuluyan.

Mga Bespren kong Pipi @ Peyups.com

Pope John Paul II - The Man

Just yesterday, the Pope's ailing condition was all over the world. Local and cable TV stations made their public announcements calling everyone to pray for the Pope's recovery. Then it hit us all, Pope John Paul II passed away at around 3 AM this morning. That's the first news that I heard today. That's the news on any local and cable station on TV. That's the news on every sidewalk and street corner. That's the news of the year, perhaps the news of the century.

I was one of the millions of people who attended the World Youth Day in 1995. It was one of the biggest people-participation events of the last century. Now everyone mourns, everyone grieves. Everyone pays respect, offers love and prayers. The Vatican was flocked by people from all nations and religions. Catholics, Christians, Buddhists, Hindi, Muslims and evenpagans and atheists. Because even if some people did not believe in a god, they believed in the Pope, the man.


03 April 2005 | 10:46 PM