Where Can I Buy Time?

Not that I have more money than I have time. But I think I'm more willing to spare some cash to buy time.

It's a Sunday afternoon, and it's raining. My favorite combination. Then I've the whole house to myself. I did not go home to Caloocan this weekend because I wanted to spend some time for myself, which I think I did.

I slept until lunch yesterday, updated the Ananda Kanani Accessories header, sorted out pics, uploaded pics to my computer, had a long bath, and worked out at night. Yes, finally. I was able to use my after-workout slippers after a real work out.

Today I woke up at around 11 AM, and thought to myself. I have to be productive today. Maybe post something to my website, upload photos to multiply, watch a movie, or read a book. I need to do something productive. Something that would make me feel accomplished.

Housemates wanted me to go watch a play (that I've already seen) in CCP, tonight. And a friend was asking me to go to eat out in Makati. I would have gone to either, only that CCP and Makati are far, and it's raining here.

So I had lunch with the housemates. Then grabbed my laptop from my room and sat my butt on the couch. I was able to post one article in my website. Just one. Later, maybe I can post some more. And I am sorting out my inbox too. Too much facebook updates.

Then I said I'd watch a movie. I think there are about a thousand movies in this house and I haven't even seen a quarter of it. Or maybe I'll just watch The Big Bang theory. Or How I Met Your Mother. Oh right, I don't have the copy yet.

Which reminded me, to finish reading something. I feel like I'm running out of time and I've to finish it soon enough. I've probably caused delays.

Now I'm blogging here, thinking of what to do next -- reading a book is out of the question because I would never finish a book in one sitting and I could not find my Armand book here. It's probably in the office.

So anyway, I'll check out the movies here at home and try to watch. Or try to watch while posting an article in my website or watch while trying to post an article in my website. Or whatever. Damn, so much to do, so little time. Or so much I wanna do, so little time I have.

I want to buy time, please.

Update:
After 20 minutes, I've already checked a friend's multiply photos (she said "go to photos, not to inbox") and turned on Jamboy's PC. So that's an accomplishment, right? Now I'm ready to watch a movie. Then bike later.

Ang Pag-ibig na Wagas ay ang Pag-ibig na Hindi Makakamit

March 24, 2009

4:05 PM

A dear friend’s body was found this morning, void of life.

This body had a name, Vincent Jan Rubio, VJ to dear friends. He was editor of the Philippine Collegian or Kule, for the Kultura Section, where we collaborated to write the feature story about my then student organization, The UP Repertory Company, more popularly known as UP Rep. We did that when I was in second year college. I gave him a write up in bullet form containing everything I wanted to say about my org. I should’ve written the article myself and pass it as a contribution, he jokingly said to me when I gave him the floppy disk and print out of the write up, that he read immediately. He even asked me to take the exam for Kultura writers in the prestigious university school paper. I thought it was only between the two of us, and he was only joking, when Dada Nartea one day told me that the Kultura exam was nearing.

For a moment there, I believed that I could actually write, and well at that, because VJ saw a potential in me.

I never took that exam because I never had the guts, and because I knew I wasn't good enough for the part. But the article we collaborated on got published with a huge photo in a spread in the Kultura Section. My name never got mentioned though, it’s not allowed to mention names, said the editor. But VJ still thanked my org for it. And we continued to be friends even after college.

VJ and I would see each other in school events, in malls, even in bars. The first time after college was two years later, in Freedom bar. We promised ourselves to contact each other for upcoming events, or just to chill. But never did. We recently got in contact again after we saw each other in Conspiracy Bar. I was with a friend then when I heard someone yelled my name and turned to see his smile, as if saying “malandi ka, bakit ka nandito?” I was with my lesbian friends then but joined VJ’s table. Our chitchat lasted for more than an hour, my friends even said “nanlalalaki ka”. VJ’s famous line that night was “Ang pag-ibig na wagas, ay ang pag-ibig na hindi makakamit”, while doing his Sto. Ninyong Gala accent.

We promised to go to Matilda’s gig at Freedom bar one time after Conspiracy. I went to the gig to be true to my word. But he never came. I texted him and he said he’s currently busy with work and promise to make it up to me.

About a month ago, I saw Xavier Gravides in Cubao X. I could not believe that he was much slimmer so I called him from a distance, and asked him about his diet secrets. He told me his secret, and that VJ was with him that night. A few minutes later, VJ came to my table. We had a small talk, about the highlights or our lives between that moment and the last time we saw each other. And other things that were not as important to our lives, but were worth talking about just the same. He said we should go out sometimes so he could make up for not coming to our meeting at Freedom Bar. I said, he should go to one of my band’s gigs. He said, with force “sige, basta itetext mo ako!” but I was never able to text him.

This morning, a lot of my friends’ status in Facebook was “Justice for VJ Rubio”, and I did not have a clue. There was even a link to one of VJ’s blogs that I clicked and read. It was an article 4 years ago, about death. Still, I was clueless. I asked a couple of friends in Facebook about what happened when Al Rio, an officemate and a former Collegian artist, rushed to me and said “Roma, alam mo na nangyari kay VJ?” Silence. “Namatay daw!” Silence.

I contacted friends from Kule to get details. His closest friends, Caloy and X were out of reach. Kat Macapagal answered her phone. I asked “Kat, anong nangyari kay VJ?” She was explaining that VJ’s car was found somewhere in Sumulong, and his body was not there. But this morning, his body was seen at a distance from his car. I asked again “anong nangyari?” She seemed to have gasped for breath, then said “Sure na, na-identify na. Patay na, mads”. Silence.

Suddenly, everything was in slow motion, and my knees weakened. I could not believe it. I suddenly felt that there’s something lacking. VJ’s faces flashed to me – drunk, sober, happy, serious, dead.

Of course, something’s lacking. We never got to go out. But more importantly, someone so nice, so intelligent, so beautiful and so dear passed away. Unbelievable. I even thought, what could this be, a murder, a robbery resulting to homicide, a crime of passion, a hate crime? What a waste!

For a moment there, I believed that I was not really living my life. And anytime life would be gone, and unexpectedly at that.

A dear friend’s body was found this morning, void of life.

This body had a name, Vincent Jan Rubio, VJ to dear friends.

Francis M. passed away Today :(

Rapper, actor and TV host Francis Magalona, diagnosed with leukemia last year, died Friday at the Medical City hospital. He was 44.

He battled cancer for almost eight months before finally passing away.

Last August, Magalona informed the noontime show "Eat Bulaga" via text message that he was suffering from leukemia.

The rapper even requested for blood donations to replace the blood he was using at the Medical City hospital in Ortigas Avenue where he was being treated.

"I have been diagnosed with leukemia and I am preparing for my treatment. Sa tulong ng Panginoon, kakayanin ko po ito," he said. "Abangan nyo ang aking pagbabalik. 'Di ko lang kayo 'miss'... LOVE KO kayong lahat."

Magalona was a regular host of the noon time show "Eat Bulaga."

The 44-year-old Magalona was the son of 1950's legendary actors and celebrity couple Pancho Magalona and Tita Duran.

Launched as a teen star in the 1980s, Magalona's career boomed with his hit rap song "Mga Kababayan," which was included in his album "Yo!" released in 1990.

He was also the voice behind the hits "Ito ang Gusto Ko," "Meron Akong Ano," "Mga Praning," and "Kaleidoscope World."

Francis M left behind his wife Pia Arroyo and eight children--Unna, Nicolo, Francis Jr., Isabella, Elmo, Arkin, Clara, and actress Maxene Magalona.

from: ABS CBN News

Got the news from a text message from a friend. I did not believe her at first and searched the internet for reference. I am really saddened by this news because I am a fan of Francis M., and last year at Pecha Kucha, I was not able to brave myself enough to have my picture taken with him while he was there. And now he is gone. :(

I Need to Read a Book

I don't read books much. Because I don't need to look for lines to quote.

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The first time I met her, she was holding a book, talking to friends. Then she slumped on the chair and started reading. She opened the book where her fingers marked it. Then flipped it. Flipped it a couple of pages forward! I knew she was just looking for intelligible lines to quote.

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Some are just so pretty, so well read, the perfect girl, a social deb...but they don't really know much.

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I only quote lines that really matter to me, those that I will remember until I die. Some people quote lines because they ain't got nothin'. To say.

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Every time you quote a smart line from a book, or a song, you come across as...smart?

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That's what I call "pretencious".

Oh, I spelled it incorrectly? Well, I told you, I don't read much.

It's Raining!

Sarado lahat ng blinds sa office. Pero naramdaman kong umuulan. Binuksan ko ang blinds sa tabi ng work station ko.

Ulan.

Magandang ulan. Pero maaraw.

Walang ibang 'nakaramdam' na umuulan dahil sa mga nakatabing na bintana.

Tumitig ako sa puno ng buko na hinahangin. Naisip ko kung gaano kasarap tumambay sa bahay pag umuulan. O magyosi sa tambayan. Naisip ko yung maglakad ng naka-hoody lang sa ulan, habang nagyoyosi. Tas mababasa yung yosi. Maglalasang tubig. Malamig na tubig.

Wala akong malinaw na magandang alaala ng ulan. Pero ulan lang mismo, madami nang nabubuong magandang pakiramdam sakin. Positibo. Isa ang ulan sa siguradong nakakapagpaganda na ng araw ko. Pede kong sabihin na buo na naman ang ulan ko. :)

Tokwa vs. Tofu (sa pananaw ng isang matakaw)

Nagdala si Cha ng curry tokwa/tofu specialty nya nung Saturday sa birthday party ni Che.

Hindi ko natikman, kaya hindi ko alam kung tofu or tokwa yung dala nya. And someone would say "pareho lang naman ang tofu at tokwa" and I would always insist na hindi sila pareho. I was a vegetarian, and matagal tagal na din napamahal sa kin ang tokwa (ayoko ng tofu), bago pa man ako maging vegetarian. Hindi naman espesyal ang tokwa o tofu, mahilig lang talaga ako dun. Lalo na't wala naman ako gaanong choice sa kakainin noon. Kaya din minsan, hindi ko maintindihan ang mga tao na sinasabing favorite nila ang tokwa o tofu, especially kung di naman sila mahilig sa tokwa o tofu nang makilala ko sila. Hindi naman masarap ang tokwa o tofu. Sawsawan o seasoning lang nya ang masarap.

Simple lang naman lagi ang explanation ko sa usapin na "magkaiba ang tofu at tokwa" -- ang tokwa, when fried, matigas/malutong. Ang tofu hindi. Kahit sunugin mo ang tofu, hindi sya titigas or lulutong.

Sabi ni Cha, na isang chef, pareho lang ang tokwa at tofu. Sino ba naman ako to contest? Eh kumakain lang ako, hindi ko naman pinag-aralan at kinabubuhay ang mga kaalaman sa pagkain. Pero bilang isang kumakain, mali ba ako na hindi pareho ang tokwa at tofu base sa aking explanation? Totoo namang hindi mo mapapalutong ang tofu. Kung bakit, hindi ko alam.

Sabi ni Cha, may iba't ibang klase lang ng tofu. May silken tofu, may samting tofu... di ko na maalala yung iba. Silken tofu na lang naalala ko. Dahil technically, ang tofu na kilala natin at ang tofu na tinutukoy ko ay ang silken tofu! Ang tokwa ay ang firm tofu. So technically, pareho silang uri ng tofu. Pero hindi natin sila kilala na parehong tofu. Or at least ako, hindi ko sila kilala bilang parehong tofu. Kilala ko sila bilang tokwa at/o tofu. Kumbaga, by default, pag sinabi mong tofu, ang iisipin ko, yung malambot na bean curd (o para sa akin ay kung ano ang tofu, na definitely ay hindi tokwa).

Pag nakakita ka ng tofu cubes sa pinggan mo - yung malambot na kulay gatas, sasabihin mo bang, tokwa yun?

Salamat kay Cha sa pagpapaalala sakin sa silken tofu. So oo, pareho lang silang tofu. Pero hindi "pareho lang naman ang tokwa at tofu" dahil ang una ay firm, ang ikalawa ay silken, by default, sa pagtukoy, sa ating language game. Hindi mo naman nire-refer na 'tokwa' ang malambot na tofu, di ba?

So sa usaping ito, by default - ang tofu ay yung malambot na bean curd o silken tofu. At ang tokwa ay yung matigas na bean curd, o firm tofu. Pero sa normal na usapan, kaya mo bang kumain ng tofu't baboy na nakababad sa suka't toyo na may sibuyas at sili? Kung kaya mo, then, pareho nga ang tokwa at tofu.

Ermmm...

May interview ng artist today. Hm, ito na kaya ang ating iniintay?
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Kung wala kang sasabihin sa akin, wala din akong sasabihin sa iyo.
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Malapit sa puso ko ang Session Road na banda, dahil sa tatlong main reasons. Let's go to Baguio!
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With a love like that, you know you should be glad.
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Madami akong naiisip, gusto mo subukan magtanong?
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Nag log in ka na ba?
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Trabaho.

Work Resumes

Hey, Happy New Year!

Hope you were able to relax and recharge during the 23-day long vacation. I was, but not for the most part.

I am a person who finds it a waste of time when I rest when I am at home. Weird, I know. But when I'm at home, i usually tend to sort out stuff, organize things, or do accessories for Ananda Kanani. I want to write, draw, finish rendering the house layouts i've drawn in the past years. But I don't want to do stuff that needs me to think. Organizing and making accessories, however, relax me.

I needed to go to the salon for hair maintenance, but thought, I could do other things than that. I only watch TV and DVDs while organizing and beading, or when I am lulling my self. But yesterday, I called for someone who does dreadlocks and had 1/4 of my hair done. While he was doing it, I watched Project Runways Season 5. The guy left at 4PM, and I watched until around 7 PM, from 10 AM. That's the longest time I've been in front of the TV my whole life! The longest time that I was not doing anything else. Not sorting out stuff, not beading, not using my laptop, for nine hours straight! Of course I ate lunch and dinner and walked around to stretch from time to time. But that's still nine straight hours of pure bumming. It's kind of a waste of time but I'm proud of myself for staying put, and not getting bored in doing only one thing (watching) for a loooong time! Hah!

Now my butt's back in in my office chair and I like it. Bumming's over.

The Year That Was

I don’t really summarize my year into an article. But this time, I’ll try to write something about the highlights of last year. I will even enumerate them.

1. My dad had a series of acute strokes last march and april, and he just turned 65 yesterday! Yehey!

2. I went to Boracay twice in one month. One week apart. A record for a lot of firsts: first time that I traveled via PAL Express. Cebu Pacific is my airline of choice. First time I went to the beach and brought only a small bag, without any swim suits – because I was only there for an ocular inspection for a company event.

3. Girls, girls. Sneaky, sneaky. I cannot elaborate, sorry.

4. My parents finally decided together that we are moving back to the province! Yehey! I cannot wait to live outside the metro again!

5. Went to Puerto Galera with my whole family, it’s been a long time since the whole family’s been in the beach again because our annual vacation spot is in Baguio City.

6. Acquired Potpot, my macbook!

7. I went out of the country! I did not want to at first. Because I haven’t been to all 7000 islands of the Philippines. But I enjoyed Singapore, a lot. I even plan to go back this year!

8. I only had two cameras in my life – an SLR Pentax1000 (as I recall), as my mom’s birthday gift to me when I turned 18, that got lost. A two-megapixel camera that my sister gave to me when she accidentally broke my new silver hard cover luggage (that I bought from my tuition fee waiver) in the airport when she borrowed it for her first trip to Cebu. The camera broke after I used it in Boracay (2006). Used it only once. Then finally, here’s a camera that can last, the latest model, and I bought it with my own money. The best part is, it’s an underwater camera!

9. My brother’s been working out again – losing his weight through basketball. He lost a lot of his beer belly, I tell you!

10. First time I enrolled to a gym. I never wanted to, because I was active before. I had a couple of sports, which I was never good at, but at least, they kept me fit until after college when I worked, and gained weight and had to go to the gym for professional training. What a shame.

11. I’ve been at my heaviest. And I really am kind of ashamed to myself, as I’ve mentioned, being fit and active before.

12. We lost three people in the office, but gained four new ones.

13. We have acquired a really healthy working environment ever since our new artist, Hix, and our new account personnel, Mark, joined us. Every day is just lovely. Really lovely.

14. I felt betrayed by a close friend. Someone that I was really fond of. I shared a lot of things to her, and then sometimes, it felt like she’s using these against me. I’ve felt this way before, but I think it’s my fault for trusting too much.

15. Ah, all our friends in the SnL group have been almost, if not completely, taken. All of them except for the FATT.

16. FATT who? The band Flush and the Toilets was born! It’s been almost half a decade since I last played with a band, or last played on stage. It felt great. Thanks to the support of our friends.

17. I fell in love again.

Season of Giving

I noticed that the best gifts that I get at this time of the year at this time of my life are from my friends.

Not from my parents because they don't give me gifts anymore because for one, they are old enough to stop playing Santa to me. I am the youngest of three children and I am 26.

Not from my sister or brother because I've been independent for about three years now, I've been away and they only see me on birthdays and holidays and some occasional lunch outs and coffee bonding. I think they don't know me anymore. Well at least what I want or use on a regular basis. My sister and I are really close, but she still thinks that I still am a psuedo hippie (the original hippies are the people from San Fo, and technically, all others are psuedo hippies) who wears floral clothes and loves flower-decorated accessories. I would still do, when I get thin enough to fit my bellbottoms. I still am a psuedo hippie at heart, though.

At the age of 26, the people I always see are my officemates, my housemates, and my friends. Two days ago, a lesbian friend gave me a box of Marlboro Red flip tops as exchange gift. The next day, an officemate gave me a fabulous lighter. Today, another lesbian friend gave me a necktie. A special someone gave me the Victorinox pocket tools I've been wanting for ages. You can now judge me by the gifts I received from four people.

I have yet to see the gifts my relatives would give me, but I'm 80% sure that they would be stuck in the 90s when I was still cute, girly and skinny. But I love the gifts they give me, make me wanna become skinny and girly again. Cute, however, I cannot go back to.

I give gifts every year to all of my relatives that I see on a regular basis. And give gifts to all my godchildren (inaanaks), i have eight, though some of them have not seen me for years. I always want to make sure that when they come, I have something to give them. But just like my sister to me, I can say, I think I don't know some of them anymore. Well at least what they want or use on a regular basis.

But honestly, what I want or use on a regular basis doesn't matter. It's the thought that counts. Really. I am thankful that no matter how far I've been or how detached I've become (because of work and other things that maturing grown ups do like become independent and shit), they still include me to their shopping lists. I am thankful that I still receive gifts at times when the oil price is really high. And I am happy to still buy gifts for people I don't see even at times when the oil price is really high. Because it would be sad if an inaanak comes, expecting for a present and doesn't get one.

I am thankful that I still get gifts from friends. I am thankful that even if my parents don't give me gifts anymore, they are still with me on birthdays and holidays and some occasional lunch outs and coffee bonding. I am thankful that I still get gifts, period.

Because some people dont even know what a gift is, at this season of giving. Some haven't even celebrated Christmas yet. Because they cannot afford to.

So let's not forget to share our blessings. Have a Merry Christmas!