Sana Umulan

Kahapon lang, nagsulat ako sa likod ng readings ko ng mga katagang "SANA UMULAN." Mahal ko ang ulan. It makes me happy. I feel like every drop cleanses me. Pag malungkot ako, uulan lang, masaya na ako. Dahil ganito lang sumaya ang mababaw na tao.

Medyo exhausted ako nung mga nakakaraang araw. Minsan malungkot. Minsan masaya. Minsan pagod. Minsan confused. Minsan nagbabaliw-baliwan na lang, in anticipation of my board exams.

Kanina kausap ko si Alvin, sabi ko sa kanya, sana umulan.

Hindi nga kase ako makatulog kahapon, so I wished that it rained. Ngayon, inaantok na ako pero ayaw pa ng isip kong matulog. Eh malakas ang boses ni Nick Hexum, hindi ko masyadong nadidinig yung paligid. Parang me nadidinig ako sa labas. Nagpunta ako sa pinakamalapit na bintana. Voila! It's raining! I could not be any happier!

So paalam na muna dahil sabi nga ni Ruffa Mae Quinto "This is it!" Kailangang makahiga na ako kay kama at mayakap si Unan bago maubos ang ulan. Ansarap nito! Pramis! Tagal kong hinintay to!

Log out.

Kung Anik-anik

Habang kumakain (ng paborito kong "Tomtillos" - tortillos w/ "diced" tomato) at naghihintay (sa maraming tao at bagay), naisipan kong maningin-ningin ng mga links ng blog na to. Nabasa ko ulit yung mga malullungkot at pa-deep na tula ko mula sa heartaches, which actually made me productive most of the time.

Mighty Butterfly

Nabasa ko ulit yung "Mighty Butterfly" na inareglo na ni Papa John, yung gitarista ng Sweet Valium High, para gamitin sa gigs. Nung ginawa ko yung "Mighty Butterfly", nisip ko yung person na nagrepresent sa paru-paro (o, umamin ka, ngayon mo na lang ulit nabasa/nasabi sa utak yang word na yan, so say it again -- "PARU-PARO! Nice no? :) ). Nisip kong yung paru-paro ang topic ng kanta, dahil para sa kanya yung kanta, kaya ipinangalan ko sa kanya.

Tas si Papa John, "Flower" ang tawag niya dun sa kanta, which made me think just now na minsan talaga iba ang viewpoint ng babae sa lalaki, no? Siguro mas na-picture nya yung batang babae sa song na kinumpara ko sa isang bulaklak na nalanta nang lumayo at umalis yung paru-paro (PARU-PARO!). Sa viewpoint nya siguro, yung batang babae ang topic nung kanta. At dahil na rin sa babae ang bokalista namin, malamang nisip nya, pambabae yung ginawa kong kanta. Hindi ko na sya natanong tungkol dito kasi hindi ko naman dati napagtuunan ng pansin, ngayon lang. At yun nga ang naisip kong dahilan kung bakit iba ang tawag nya sa kanta. Yun lang naman. PARU-PARO!

Techno Shit 1: Cellular Phones

Sa sobrang uso ng cellphone, ang dami-daming pagpipilian -- a variety of colors, shapes, models, and sizes - which, at a time became small in standards - di'ba may time na para sabihing luma ang cellphone mo, sinasabi mo "malaki" siya? Pero wag mangamba! Ilabas na ulit ang Nokia 2110! 1600! At iba pang mga "pangkayod ng yelo", "remote control", o mas malala pa, ang "Frigidaire" - na kung tutuusin ay brand name ng ref. So kahit ang Ref mo ay Nokia o ang cellphone mo ay "Frigidaire", keber! Malalaki na ulit ang mga models ng phones, dahil sa "camfon" (na nung una kong nabasa ay nagtaka ako. "Nawala ang camfon". Huh?! Nisip ko kung sinong tagasunod sa dark side ang nawala. Camfon?!

Anyway, akala ng marami, the latest cellular phone models are being designed to suit our lifestyles. I beg to disagree. I believe it's actually the other way around. Our lifestyles are now being "designed" to suit our cellular phone models.

Kailan pa ba tayo naging sobrang hilig o sipag sa pag-a-"alarm"? Kinalimutan na natin ang mga mala-tren-na-dumadating na alarm clocks. Pinalitan na natin ng ating Ericsson alarm to the tune of "Wag na Wag mong Sasabihin". O kung ano mang fad na gusto nating marinig first thing when we awoke. Yung alarm nung Ericsson ko dati ay mala-Ragga na tune. Na minsan dahil sa sarap ng tugtog ay lalo akong nakakatulog. Bumili nga ako ng battery ng alarm clock kong parang-laging-may-sunog-ang-tunog. Kaya nga "alarm" clock eh. It's supposed to alarm us!

Kailan pa ba tayo naging mahilig o masipag mag-sort out ng "details" ng "contacts" natin? "Change Type" to fax #, office #, home #, mobile #, o general #. Hindi pa dyan natatapos yan, meron pang "add detail" na kung e-mail or home address, notes, birthday, reminder, shoe size, bra size, cup A, B, or C! Ang tanong, Set as Default?! Pero dahil minsan nang na-reset ang Nokia 7110 ko noon kung saan nawala ang mahigit 700 kong "contacts" na kumpleto sa "details", nagpasalamat pa rin ako at hindi ko nakakalimutang bumili ng filler ng old school kong organizer.

Kailan pa ba tayo naging "chummy" sa lahat ng tao sa paligid natin? Dati nga, picture mo lang at malamang ng karelasyon mo ang nasa wallet mo. Picture nga ng nanay mo, wala eh. But no, ngayon, pati chao-chao ng Professor nyo sa Speech, may picture ka. Pati picture ng daliri mong maganda ang nail polish, o ng Astroboy na t-shirt ng kaklase mo. Sa birthday parties, hindi na kailangan ng film (Kodak, Fuji) dahil may memory card naman ang phone mo. Pag napuno, bubura lang ng picture ng favorite mong kendi. Lahat ng bisita, may picture ka, pati hindi mo kakilala, basta mukhang maganda siya sa picture. Malala pa nyan, wala pa ring picture ng nanay mo.

Dati, ang "Payong Kaibigan" ni Jolina Magdangal sa "Ang TV", kailangan ipapadala by snail mail. Tapos sasagutin nya sa show. Ngayon, ang payo, pinapadaan na lang sa "text". At para pansinin ka ni Jolina, hindi mo na kailangan sumulat (not to mention matagal nang naka-off "Ang TV"), isang text lang at aaraw-arawin na ni Jolina ang pangangamusta sa'yo through Star Text. At kung dati, lahat ng humihingi kay Jolina ng picture ay sinasabihan niya ng "punta ka ng lang dito sa Studio at mag-kodak-an tayo", malamang hindi na yun ang sasabihin niya kundi "pnta k nlng d2, dlin m yng "cmfn" n pnntxt m."

At iyak na lang tayo kapag na-reset, nag-"crash", nadukot o na-snatch ang "camfon". Pno n pc2r nmn n Jolens?!

Kailan pa naging action word ang salitang "text"? Text. May gerund pa nga siya eh -- "texting". Eh yun ngang lumang word na "text" as in "textbook/copy" ay wala sa "New Enlarged Webster's English Science Dictionary Authoritative and Simplified. Hehe. Kunsabagay, dynamic naman daw ang mga meaning ng salita. And retroactive, I must add. Minsan nakakapan-tumbling kapag may natatanggap akong note -- sa papel, sinulat ng kamay gamit ang bolpen o lapis -- na naka-"text lingo". "Mit en elenji tayo emya-emya. Eykyu en elenji emjititixt sa you." Tumbling diba?

Kasalanan na lang natin kung mahina ang comprehension natin. Mababa ang EQ o may gap ang left and right hemispheres ng utak natin. Yung gap na yun ang pagkakalsuhan ng Textpower na book para maenhance ang ating "text knowledge"

K? 2loy q n lng 2 nxt tym. Mwah!

I Am Sad

I was about to say to the person that's been the subject of my writing a few months back that I went gaga over him. Just so I could get it over with and move on. Though I planned to tell him on November, I thought why not tell him now, though not personally, while I still feel like telling so? But before I was even able to finish typing my message, he said goodbye. And it made me sad.

I am also sad about a lot of other things, which I try not to mind, because as the person that I am, sadness is just "not my thing". But right now, I am probably one of the saddest people on earth. Save for the people of Africa and Iraq. Save for the victims of Katrina. For the people of Gaza. For the students who have been water-cannoned in Mendiola a few days back, just because they were fighting for their rights to a better country. For the people in the picket lines, in the mist. For the people who are still begging for food in Baywalk at this time of the day. And for the quarter of the world that's suffering injustice and doing time. For the quarter who are missing a departed loved one. And for the quarter who are praying with eyes closed and pouring with tears right now, telling their heartaches to their gods.... All these thoughts made me even sadder.

Jackets Galore

I LOVE JACKETS!

I don't know why. I just do. I also love the rainy days. But that's another story.

The oldest jacket that I have is my "Baby Sporty Jacket". I named it so because just like a baby tee, its size is just as fit and small -- maybe because I've outgrown it, when it used to fit like great grandma Altum Viditur jacket. I have been wearing it since grade 3!

Check out my jacket uhm... "collection".

The Blueberry Rock Show

UP Diliman's Statement on the "Gloriagate" Scandal

The President Must Resign Now

Statement of the University Council (UC) of the University of the Philippines (UP) in Diliman, Quezon City on the political crisis facing the Arroyo administration.



13 July 2005


The pursuit of the truth and the quest for a democratic society are integral to the university's mission in society. In the conduct of its work, the University of the Philippines is strictly guided by the paramount values of honesty, personal integrity, and responsibility.

We have strong reason to believe that the recent actions of the Arroyo administration in relation to the so-called "Gloriagate" tapes – the initial attempt at a cover-up, the use of threat and intimidation to prevent public access to these tapes, and the clever admission of half-truths to conceal a serious offense, among others – constitute a direct assault on nearly all the values we hold sacred in academe.

A careful analysis of the content and context of the recorded conversations between the President and Commission on Elections (COMELEC) Commissioner Virgilio Garcillano clearly shows that there has been a betrayal of public trust, if not a subversion of the people's will in the last presidential election.

Grave economic problems confront the nation today. At no other time have we needed a leader who can heal the divisions in our society and inspire hope especially among our young people. President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo has done enough damage to our public institutions and to the country's self-esteem. We cannot afford to be led any further by a dishonest president who has shown no qualms about using the awesome powers of her office for purely personal interests.

The University Council (UC) of UP Diliman, Quezon City - composed of professors, associate professors and assistant professors and chaired by the Chancellor - calls on the people to guard against foreign meddling and military takeover in charting the nation's future in the event of her removal from office. UP Diliman faculty members will join the people in their struggle to build a progressive society and a responsible government and in their commitment to uphold civilian supremacy in government and governance. We thus call on President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to immediately resign.


Source: League of Filipino Students' website

Hello, Garci?

First She Said "Hello, Garci?"

First she said "Hello, Garci?" and then there was The Tape. She was gifted with a distinctively "her" voice, so she decided not to speak about it for several days. Maybe she thought that if she spoke again, people would recognize the voice in the wiretapped tape to be really hers.

Those silent days seemed strange. She did not say anything about The Tape as if she didn't know about it or even watched the news. Even the kids on the streets knew about that certain Garci thing. I mean, it's all over the country, in fact, it was even all over Asia. Everyday, before "The Simpsons", Star News Asia headlines the Philippines about her. And so there were Garci, and Bunye, and Gonzales, and Vidol, and Concepcion. Then there were Fidel, and Cory, and the CBCP. There was even Kris Aquino.

First she said "Hello, Garci?" but she never hunted Garci to disprove that hers was the voice in The Tape. First she said "Hello, Garci?" and then there were "Hello, Garci?" ringtones, songs and dance steps. Radio stations played "Hello, Garci?" teasers in between segments. Major networks and newspapers nationwide headlined "Hello, Garci?" Everyone knew about it. I'm sure you've heard co-commuters answered their phones with "Hello, Garci?" I'm sure you've heard teenagers exclaimed "Hello, Garci?" in sarcasm instead of the usual "Hello, Okay ka lang?!"

"Hello, Garci?" "Hello, Garci?" "Hello, Garci?"
"Hello, Garci?" "Hello, Garci?" "Hello, Garci?" "Hello, Garci?"
"Hello, Garci?" "Hello, Garci?" "Hello, Garci?" "Hello, Garci?""Hello, Garci?"

First she said "Hello, Garci?" and two weeks after, she said "I am sorry." And we were sorry too.
Lastly She Said "Hello, Garci?"


She supported the US government as far as she thought was right. But a lot of things turned up wrong. "Laban nga natin sa sarili nating Bayan, hindi natin maipanalo, nakilaban pa tayo sa ibang bansa."

She supported and funded the military instead of the education sector and other basic social services. There was VAT but she was not contented, there must be an E-VAT. More journalists were killed during her term than Fidel, Cory and Erap's terms combined. Let's not start comparing her term to Marcos' term. We will take forever, especially if we will compare her to Marcos. Marcos had the decency to declare Martial Law.

Honestly, I don't read the papers so much now like before. I don't have the time to watch the news. But I definitely experienced the transportation fare hiking steep. Sometime like only a year ago, my 5-peso coin was enough to take me from Quezon Avenue-EDSA to UP, until it wasn't. Then suddenly one day, the fare that I always paid the jeepney driver was 2 pesos short. I never availed the Student Fare before. This was the very first time that I felt the need to avail it, but too late, I have already graduated college. On the brighter side of it, buti nga grumaduate pa ako, sa hirap ng buhay.

I don't wonder why different groups call for her ouster, some for her resignation, and some for her impeachment. Bottom line is that it's not only the opposition that would want her out of the presidency, may it be through constitutional, or extra-constitutional, even unconstitutional means. She's done a lot of things to annoy these groups. And she's definitely done a lot of things to antagonize the people.

I know that nobody can be perfect. She cannot possibly light all highways, restore all cultural buildings, clean all bays and rivers. She cannot possibly trap all thieves, gamblers, drug lords, illegal loggers. She cannot possibly give every man a job, every woman a shelter, every kid an education, every family a dish on the table. I know nobody can do or has done those things before. But nobody has thought of the EVAT before. Or funding the military real big time. And though others before her time have family-incorporated government corruption already, or neglected civil liberty rights, nobody has done it as good (or bad) and blatant as she did this time. She might be forgetting that we learn from experience and that the people will not be fooled again. Okay, I might be repeating myself. Or just repeating what you might have probably heard and known before. You see, she wasn't able to do a lot of right things and maybe, just maybe, we can forgive that. But she's done an awful lot of bad things.

And lastly, she said "Hello, Garci?"


11 July 2005 | 11:44 PM

Irony (Hacienda Luisita Inc. vs. Pampanga's Red Light District)

As the basic masses integration (BMI) part of the 3rd UP System-wide Alliance of Student Publications and Writers' Organizations (SOLIDARIDAD) Congress, the delegation went to Hacienda Luisita in Tarlac to visit the people in the picket line. The workers and farmers of the Hacienda Luisita Incorporated (HLI) are still standing, despite the food and financial crises brought to the picketers' families by the months-long strike that they held. They are still standing despite the violent dispersals that they have encountered. They are still standing despite the carnages and tears. They are still standing, by their principles. Yet what they ask for is plain and simple, and just just, the Cojuangcos ignobly would not give. All protests fall on deaf ears, as we say.

We all know the story. The farmers earn an average of P9.50 a week. It's not even enough to buy a pack of sugar that they produce right there in HLI, not mentioning all the deception that the HLI has done to them all these years. And sure we do not want to go to the topic of land use, land conversion, land grants, land grabs, land ownership, or just land. The most of what the workers and farmers ask for is a fair pay, and maybe a fair game. But the game in HLI has not been fair for three decades now. Like any other slave-master game, the masters win.

There's another game that's been cooking up there in Pampanga. This time, I guess, everyone thinks they all win. That's what they think.

We all know the story here, too. We've heard all about the flesh market in Clark. Back in 2001 when we went to Clark, I've seen Joes with Magdalenas. All colors of Joes, while some were Kims and Nakamuras. And of course, just one shade of Magdalena.

I have been to red light districts before -- Where girls were literally ordered.

I have been to red light districts before. There's even a small red-light "district" here in Caloocan that I pass by when I go home from any place Quezon City. I have even been inside a beer house where the girls only wore skimpy bikinis and thongs. Where girls dance around almost butt-naked. Where girls were literally ordered.

"I'll have one SMB, one sisig and one girl."

"SMB, sisig and girl on table 4!"

But this one in Clark is unlike any other red light district that I've been to all my life. No sir! It was thered light district, it is in Fields Avenue. Or should I say, it is Fields Avenue? It was blocks after blocks of red lights, and blue and green and yellow too. It's like the ones that we see in the movies. The clubs are averaging two floors each. But the fa§ades are massive. I've seen Las Vegas-themed clubs, Mexican-themed, Roman, Greek, complete with columns and ornamentations, at least two gold-painted concrete cement pharaohs and maybe a sphinx. Neon lights, loud sounds, all colors of Joes, Kims, Nakamuras, Chans, and even Juans.

It was a sight to see, really. I was in awe for the first few strides. Then another attraction that I only see in the movies (again) caught my attention -- the girls. In uniform pink bikinis, in rainbow-colored tube tops, and micro-mini skirts. In all kinds of undershirts and underwears. Suddenly, I thought I was in Florida and not in Nevada anymore. But there was no white sand, no water. And the girls were wearing go-go boots, platform shoes, stilettos.

This was definitely a flesh market. It was out of control. Oh no, actually, it was under control -- it's legal. The girls had IDs pinned on their bras. There were police bikes to see if everything's in order. Well, how could a business this loud and vulgar that occupied two, three blocks of Clark be illegal? It's so legal, it even had this street sign-like post in one corner that pointed where a certain club was located.

We went inside one club. I was dumbfounded to see around 10 girls wearing printed bikinis in a small rounded stage in front. The stage was ledged with a bar table where customers could sit down while watching the fish swim. And they could even touch it if they wanted. We asked the Mama San if we could talk to one of the dancers. She gave us Joy. I remembered her name perfectly. Joy.

Joy said all girls who work in the clubs of Fields Avenue were legal, otherwise, the police would get them, and they could not enter the bars. There were two types of jobs for the girls -- a dancer, or a waitress. But both could be ordered.

"I'll have one SMB, one sisig and one girl."
"SMB, sisig and girl on table 4!"

This is how it all works there: Most clubs are owned by foreigners, mostly Joes than Kims and Nakamuras, which explains why most customers are Joes -- they are friends with the owners. Some clubs do not allow Filipinos inside. Though it's a blatant bigotry, Juan would have a smaller selection of where he could waste his money and support this legal prostitution. So that's okay, I guess. But being the hardheaded Pinoys that we have always been, selection would not matter to answer earthly calls. Anyway, all clubs do not impose entrance fees. The girls and the clubs get 50-50 share of a customer's fee to a "take-home". That's the difference when what you take home is alive, the Chickenjoy never asked for a 50% commission from Jollibee. You get the girl tonight and you pay Mama San tonight, 1 kilo peso down, man. The girl has the option to go back to the club, or stay with the customer. The customer has the option to give "tip", or not. With tip or without, one customer equals P500. One customer every night in a week, excluding Sunday gives the girl 3K! And she still gets her monthly salary from the club for simply being a dancer, or a waitress. That explains why the girls sell flesh. And it's legal, remember?

To be a legal prostitute here, oops sorry, female sex worker (FSW), rather, to be a legal FSW, one should be 18 years old who has the guts to go to one club and apply for the position carrying an original or photocopy of her Birth Certificate. No educational background required. One must pass a short interview regarding a few bits on family background and a little English. If one has passed the interview and has a "pleasing personality", she would have to go to, guess where! The NSO! To register, of course. Then some 600 pesos and one gets her ID which I guess contains a picture, a name of employee and club, and a control number, probably pretty much like the ones in the back of limited edition Barbie Dolls issued by Mattel. Then she is ready to go.

And oh, if that's not enough, girls get this regular "hygiene check up" to see if they have acquired some disease. That's fair. And to see if they have been good girls the past week and still have their virginity. We know that story too. Virgins are more "sellable".

You got the irony there? In Hacienda Luisita, what the protesters are asking is that to give them what is due to them. Give them what they earn. It's not even illegal or wrong. But they never got it. While in Fields Avenue, the businessmen asked for something and they got it -- a big red light district, street signs to make sure customers get to The Haven, police for security, and legalized prostitution. And its legality makes it look right. What an irony.


June 01, 2005 | 9:21 PM

Balanced gender focus

you're 37% masculine

This is based on how you scored on a variety of traits that, founded on classic research and our own studies, are typically associated with men.

You're also 63% feminine, which is based on how you scored on traits that are typically associated with women. When we compare your results with other women it shows that you are somewhat more masculine than other women.

But what is gender identity exactly? A person's gender identity is defined by the extent to which they see themselves as masculine or feminine. Every person possesses both masculine and feminine qualities to some degree, however the extent to which each person has these qualities differs widely. While you were taking the test, we calculated your scores in 6 areas typically defined as masculine and 6 areas typically defined as feminine.

(Romeo) Lee’s Night (June 28)

If it's Tuesday night, then it must be Lee's Night at Mag:net Katipunan Avenue.

Finally, after being scheduled for three consecutive Tuesdays, we've finally made it to play on Lee's Night. June 11 was the first scheduled gig but we were not able to practice, on June 22, our drummer was sick, now, all was well and we were so ready to play!

I invited Nick, my best friend to watch our gig, but he had something else to do. Then he said, "Sa Martes? Pina-plug yan ni Julia Clarete sa Bulagaan ah! Tutugtog daw sila." I did not know and answered, "Talaga? Baka next week pa, kasama ang Brass Munkeys."

Talking about being excited to finally making it to Lee's night, we were at Mag:net real early, Lee wasn't even there yet so we waited outside while having some beer. Then a cab stopped nearby, and out a slim girl wearing a (really) short and sexy printed sea blue dress with matching scarf on the neck, a thick anklet and high heeled slip-ons. Oh yes, it's Julia Clarete. And… was that Kuya Danny? The guy from FA? Undoubtedly, Julia would be tonight's front(wo)man of Maniac Kiss

We prepared six original songs (Kalai, Hush, Parusa, Juday, Fantasy, Eto) for our set, which was actually a much longer set than a regular 3-song-15-minute gig. Lee asked for five songs for the past schedules but we lined-up six, making "Kalai" a 'sound-check song' for an excuse. We practiced "Soon" by the Moonpools and Caterpilars and "Torpe" by Barbie's Cradle (?) but did not pursued on them. Little did we know that we would be fronting for Julia. And littler did we know that there would only be two bands this time, we would have used the covers and more original songs that we rarely play because of the usual gig time limit.

Waiting for more guests, we hung around for about two hours before the night started. Mag:net is a free jam zone sometimes so after setting up, we tuned up the amps, toned down the volumes (so low that we were the only ones who could hear our instruments) and jammed some songs like we were just drinking beer one afternoon on a corner sari-sari store. Lee's nights are just so spontaneous and fun!

Finally, Lee introduced us. We're on a roll. I thought we were going turbo because after a few minutes, we were down to our last song. Then Lee said we should have prepared around 10 songs to make our set longer, because there were only two bands. Sayang.

Then came Julia onstage, with a cigarette on one hand a bottle of beer on the other. A few minutes of set up and they're the ones on a roll this time. They did some blues and rock and roll. We were requesting some Led Zep but they didn't give, instead, they did the Police and Beatles. Julia was rocking and all. She was talking to everyone near her, I was sitting so near her, my feet were resting on the stage, and she almost touched my ear when she kidded to pull my chain earrings. Then made a peace sign with her fingers over her forehead. She made good spiels, and jokes to some members of the audience, I thought she was doing stand up comedy. Seen her in Bulagaan? She's more maharot this time. I couldn't help myself I blurted "Bulagaan na 'to!" Seen her in Bulagaan? She's nothing there compared here – dancing sensually and wildly, bending over to pick up her Pale beer on the floor in her mini dress… know what I'm saying?

I couldn't finish Julia's set so I said goodbye and thanks to Lee. As my bandmates were staying, I joked that before going home, they should wipe away their drool.


29 June 2005 | 02:21 AM

Awesome Ska-pade (June 24)

Once again, a tiring day but also a Skanking one. I wonder if Ska night is equal to work-out day. My first Awesome Ska-pade, though I did not mention, had me running around the general UP area making some things done, and getting all soaked in the pouring rain, and being stuck in a really, really heavy traffic on my way to Makati in the earlier part of the day. The next one got me traveling from Caloocan to QC to Ortigas to Meycauyan before finally skanking again in Makati. This time, I spent 1/3 of my day traveling from Caloocan to UP to Sto. Domingo Church, and walking from Sto. Domingo Church with fellow anti-GMA marchers to the QC-Manila Rotonda and that's under the scorching sun, then walking and traveling back to UP to pick up some stuffs, then traveling to Timog and walking down to Kolumn Bar to finally do some dancing.

Yep, skanking night has always been preceded by a work out day. Not to mention that dancing ska is a work-out in itself.

Though it's a new venue, the usual PiliSKApinas bands were there for a SKA MAX night: SMB, Out for Lunch, The Usual Suspects and Shuffle Union, plus, the remarkable Skabeche. Also present were the usual Ska City United crowds. Unlike going to rock and alternative gigs, I could easily recognize the familiar faces. Ska City has its following, I wouldn't wonder why the familiar skanormals and skinheads. I have been one of them for the past couple of skankings.

The habitual dancing and frolicking started already. I took some time to rest on a chair already reserved for me by my skamates. We were sitting next to some dread heads' table. Taking a second look at the dread heads, I recognized that they were the Rubadub vocalist and guitarist. When The Usual Suspects were up, we went to the dance floor until it was Shuffle Union. We were to stay there in anticipation of Skabeche but some dancers got a little rowdy. These were people that were not exactly one of our usual crowds. They were doing the ska alright but then they started pushing each other and body slamming we had to back away a little. But then again, the girl on the mic called on an imported ska vocalist from Cebu. I'm so sorry I forgot her name but I got her face clearly pictured on my mind. I'm sure to catch her again in another ska night, though. And so she went up the stage, got the mic and greeted everyone in Cebuano. Then with all enthusiasm, she exclaimed "Come on Eileen!" Like any other ska nights, I grabbed my skamates and took the middle front of the dance floor. This song just always got me on my feet and dance enthusiastically. Like any ska other night, "Come on Eileen" got me excitedly and willingly dancing like no more ska nights would ever follow. Tonight, like any other ska nights, my name was Eileen!


25 June 2005 | 03:50 AM

(Romeo) Lee’s Night (June 14)

If it's Tuesday night, then it must be Lee's Night at Mag:net Katipunan Avenue. Again.

Lee personally invited me to have my band play this Tuesday, but unfortunately, we were not able to practice. We haven't practiced full band for a long time because of a "series of unfortunate events", but that's another story.

Anyway, I suggested Sajama to play – Papa John's (our guitarist) other band. But unfortunately, Brig (their drummer, and our sessionist) was sick. BUT on the fortunate side, Lee was also having arrangements with The Brew's front man Doc. I told Lee to ask for Doc's help to come up with a good line up.

I went there alone. ORG friends were not yet there. But friends from the UP Underground Music Community (UG) crowded the veranda. The line up -- Aizo - one of my favorites, Slow Dive, Oi Wag Dito!, and Chubibo, Doc's other band. The Brew did not make it. The only band that did not come from UG was G2 and the Bundocks.

It was a good line up but I was not able to finish the show. I was so sleepy I had to leave in the middle of Chubibo's (the last band to play) first song. Sorry Irene.

Next time.


15 June 2005 | 3:46 AM

Awesome Ska-pade (June 11)

I had a tiring day, I was up at 10 AM and was late for Chaddao's swimming party in Balara which started at 10 and ended at 4 PM. Then ran late (again) to Asia Pacific Film Institute in Ortigas to catch our short film's debut at 4. Then hurried to Meycauyan to attend my cousin's bridal shower. I got there at 9 then rushed back to Manila at 11. "Rushing back to Manila" from Meycauyan is an understatement. I actually rushed to Makati.

11:50 PM was an unholy time for air-con busses with LRT-Ayala routes in EDSA. And for some unknown reason, cabs were scarce too. I thought I'd better go home. But I wouldn't want to miss this night, anyway, patience is a virtue.

My patience paid off and I still made it to Ska City United's PiliSKApinas (the album) launch, though I missed most of the bands and the giving away of CDs. I was tired from all the commuting, the waits and the walks. I was really tired but not too tired to still do some skanking. No time to waste, the minute that I got inside Heckle and Jeckle, I put down my bag to one of the chairs and joined my friends and the dancing crowd. Unlike last week, my friends and I were not in the middle front this time. Unlike last week, I would only get to dance an hour max because it's down to the last band. That being the case, I poured all my remaining energy cavorting. When the vocalist announced "Come on Eileen", I felt all too refreshed. "Come on Eileen" has always been one of my favorite skas. I told myself, yep, it's true. Patience, really is a virtue!


12 June 2005 | 3:15 AM

(Romeo) Lee’s Night (June 7)

If it's Tuesday night, then it must be Lee's Night at Mag:net Katipunan Avenue.

Friends from UP ORG (Outdoor Recreation Group) have been inviting me to see Lee's Night every Tuesday but this was the first time that I was able to attend. I received a text message from Chantel a few minutes before 8 PM. This was one of the very few instances that I was able to eat dinner, wash the dishes, freshen and dress up in under 30 minutes. It was a tough challenge. All the way from Caloocan, I arrived in Mag:net at about 9:30 while they were still having dinner at the Meat Shop in Xavierville. I wandered around Loyola Heights for a while, looking for a place that sold my cigarette brand. I came back 15 minutes after and they were already there.

We did not go upstairs to see the bands play until it was almost 10:30. While downstairs, a couple of dread heads came, then a guy carrying a pair of bongos, then some boys, yes, boys – young men, clutching wind instruments with them. There were only three bands playing that night, Ampon, Bellfast, and Rubadub. I guessed this band's Rubadub.

The place was small so some 40 people already crowded the floor. Among the crowd was no less than Ces Drilon. (They said she's the owner of the bar.) The second band was already playing when we settled to a corner. They did some Linkin Park. They did originals. They were fine. After their set, Lee went up the stage, made his trademark hosting skills and introduced the band with the dread heads and horny boys. Yes, I was right, they're Rubadub – the name suggested their kind of music and when I saw these guys with the 'dos and percs, I knew they were the type who'd do dub.

Since I only had 2 minutes to dress up, I wore an army-camouflage shirt, which I just grabbed from the closet. One of the dread heads was wearing an army-camouflage jacket. So my friends teased me that I should go up the stage with Rubadub and sound-check with "my band mates" since my hair and outfit coordinated with the band members'. Teasing lasted for about 5 minutes, but it didn't matter because the band was busy setting up, they did not hear us.

I stood up from my bar stool, I knew it would be sing-along-and-dance time again. Rubadub's first song: "Iron Lion Zion". Then an orig, then "Redemption Song", then two origs, then "Stir it Up", then "Exodus", then a song request written on a piece of tissue paper. I was near the stage so I was able to read what the request was "Santa Ria by Sublimb". Oh come on! Well, anyway, again, it did not matter because they pulled it off quite okay. It was Santeria by Sublime! They did two more Bob Marley songs and joked that they were actually doing a "Bob Marley Tribute".

Rubadub was good. Their original songs were in Filipino. If I remember it right, one of their songs was about the youth, one was about music, and one was about love. Or was it that the songs about the youth and music were actually one and the same song? Sheesh…

Oh well…

They plugged for their next gig in Gasoline Alley this Friday. Maybe I'll go there. Maybe I will stalk them because they looked like good people. And they played well and looked like they were having fun while on stage (which, I learned from experience, is an essential in playing with a band). Oh, did I mention that the horny boys (those boys with the trumpets and saxophone; horns) looked like they were just passing by when they suddenly decided to go with the band to a gig. One of them had the pinabili lang ng suka ng nanay nya look – big grayish cotton sando with arm holes down to the waist and baggy denim pants. Haha! Cute! A little move and your nipples would wave at me boy!

Anyway, the two bands that we caught were good. Rubadub was good. Or I was biased because they do reggae. Lee was spontaneously witty and fun. He even told me that if I could arrange it, my band could play on his nights, while he's still there "dahil baka mawala na ako", referring to passing away (because of old age). Haha! Nice one Lee!

I wish of more Tuesdays like this. I also get to be with Chantel. But that's another story.

If it's Tuesday night, then it must be Lee's Night at Mag:net Katipunan Avenue.


08 June 2005 | 10:10 PM

Awesome Ska-pade (June 04)

Somebody dropped drunk on the floor – a big man on his middle 40s, wearing a white football jersey, denim pants and rubber shoes. The other people in the dance floor, all around his age too, looked at him. One by one, they came near him, forwarded one foot, and teasingly stepped on his beer belly. These feet were all in their boots – the Doc Martens-type with stitches of fat, yellow (in some cases, white) thread on the side of the sole. I believe these were their dancing boots. The other bunch of people who were not wearing boots were the younger ones, mostly my age (early 20s). Most of them were male and wearing all kinds of polo shirts – plain dark colored ones, striped, and checkered – all three buttons closed up to the neck. Two or three of them wore pin-stripe plaid pants, one was wearing a cotton slip-on shoes with chess-board design.

Most of the men, regardless of age, had shaved heads – yes, skinheads. There were only a few women in the dance floor and one of them was me.

I was wearing my salmon pink tank top, my long braided hair with three phatty knattys (haha!) and my tartan corduroy pants. It was pouring really hard when I went to the place, but I was not wearing my rain boots which doubled as dancing boots, or vice versa. These boots are actually kinda like the (if I remember it right) go-go boots of the 70's – the tall leather boots. But it did not matter. I still danced my butt from 11 PM to 3 AM, with all these people who danced really well.

Okay, I will be specific. I danced my butt from 11 PM to 3 AM, with all these people who danced really well. Who danced ska really well. It's CLUB SKA Manila's comeback production last Saturday, a Ska Festival at Heckle and Jeckle Makati.

I was really surprised by the crowd who were there for the festival (the other crowds were there for the billiards and the friggin 80-pesos-per-bottle beer). The ska crowd was really amazing, as I described – outfits, dance moves, hairdo (or lack thereof), and all that jazz. Or should I say, and all that ska? *wink*

All the bands were remarkable – outfits and the whole ensemble – guitarists, bassists, vocalists wearing dark glasses, funky keyboardists and the "horny" men in the "horny section" – trumpets and all.

Okay, imagine a band playing on a small stage, a front-liner crowd of around 15 middle-aged people who all knew each other, wearing their hats and boots, dancing in a small area approximately 2 x 2 meters (only).

Imagine the front-liner crowd of around 15 middle-aged people. (They were the coolest 15 middle-aged people I've seen since the ones who partied at the old TOP 40 Bar in Caloocan). They looked like our moms – with black leather handbag slung on one shoulder while dancing, and our dads – on checkered short-sleeved polo and reading glasses. There were two couples – one pair was dancing ska on a Judge Dread song and the other one was doing a little something like boogie. The others, all men, were swinging their hips and beer belly forward and backward, knees bent, feet kicking. They were all energetic and buoyant, stomping and frolicking around to the beat. Awesome sight, really! I was enjoying the dancing and the sight-seeing as well!

Though I was wearing my ever-reliable 50-peso worth rubber slippers, I still wished I was wearing my boots. I cannot wait for the next ska-pade where I will put my best (dancing) foot forward while another skanormal drops drunk on the dance floor. Needless to say, "not many people can cha-cha-cha, not everybody can do the twist, but everybody can do the ska, it's a dance you can't resist!"


05 June 2005 | 4:10 PM

Sa Saguijo sa Guijo

June 04, 2005. I thought all roads led to this petite and cozy bar that night. There were Twisted Halo, Cambio, Itchyworms, Sandwich, Sugarfree, and it's Ebe's birthday. But I "attended" the "birthday party" to see Jr. Kilat. Yes, that reggae band from Cebu. This was the first time that I saw the whole band play live. But I have seen Budoy (their front man) play (all meanings apply) live a couple of times before, with Tropical Depression and Pepe Smith. The Legendary Pepe Smith.

It was raining and all the seats inside were either taken or reserved. My friends and I stood beside the bar. We looked at the menu and selected the food we wanted to have, if by any chance, a table would get cleared. 30 minutes passed but the place just kept on filling up. The reserved table beside me started to have its guests – Kris Dancel, Vin Dancel…you got the picture.

"Sound Check" echoed. Budoy and his gadget were taking up center stage. I warned my friends "I really like this band but I don't understand what they sing about. It's in Bisaya." They laughed. They thought I was joking. My friends are not really into live band shows (the only event of this sort that they go to is the annual UP Fair), I was the one who begged so we could pass by this gig. They were not familiar with Jr. Kilat. Budoy greeted the audience, in pure Bisaya. My friends were in utter shock.

Jr. Kilat played four songs from their album, "Party People You're on Dub TV". Then my friends asked me to leave and go to Crocodile's Grill at Greenbelt 3 to eat. Though I still wanted to see the other bands play, especially Sugarfree, I had to comply, I've already seen Jr. Kilat. So they went outside to wait for me while I say goodbye to Budoy. He said he could not go chitchatting with me yet because they were asked for an interview.

On my way out, I saw Echo (of Boldstar) we exchanged hi's and hello's, he said they won't be playing but Itchyworms would, where his bro Chino plays. I thought I could make it back there before Itchyworms' set time so I sent Chino a message to tell him that I would be back with my friends. But we never made it. Sad.

Anyway, I saw another friend, Pierre Cruz, who used to shoot for Pulp Magazine. He called me over to introduce me to Raymund Marasigan and Buddy Zabala. Talk about getting starstruck, huh? But I managed. :)

Going out of the place required a skill of an escape artist like Harry Houdini. It was really jam packed. Since it was the first time that I went to Saguijo, I wondered if the place is always that full. I wondered if it's just because of the line up (by Admit One and Revolver Productions), Ebe's birthday, or all roads just really led there that night.

Sa Saguijo sa Guijo.


05 June 2005 | 10:38 PM

Bata Bata, Paano ka Ginawa?* (part I)

*pasintabi kay Bb. Lualhati Bautista IPIS I am not afraid of ghosts (maybe because I really haven't encountered one, face to face) but I believe they exist. I am not afraid of *insert dad's Queen cassette tape here* thunderbolts and lightning – very, very frightening, not me. I am not afraid of death. But I am afraid of cockroaches. They scare me, especially when they fly, in so many ways than one. I get goosebumps when I see one flying around. My friend Ngort said they don't have eyes, which make them even scarier. They don't see where they're going, or landing. No wonder why I see some of them forcefully slap their yucky bodies on walls and curtains.

I started fearing them when I was about five or six. One sunny afternoon while biking in the block, I saw one of my playmates sitting happily on top of their red boxy Lancer. She waved at me happily. I stopped and chatted with her for a while when I noticed this huge red bump in the middle of her forehead. It was so big I thought she exchanged her face for a humungous pantal!

"Anong nangyari sa noo mo?!" I quipped. "Nakagat ng Ipis!" she said.

PUTCHA!

Para shang pantal na tinubuan ng mukha!

Then there, I feared the dreadful ipis! I thought they were powerful. So powerful that they turned the face of my playmate into an enormously red bump that would pass as a saucer where mom puts her patis when eating sinigang!

I wished I never asked why she had that red bump on her forehead so I would have never acquired this alarming fright of the dreadful (and powerful) ipis! What kind of kid would not have a phobia of something so small but so monstrous it could change your looks instantly from a pretty face to a pretty saucer with hair?!

---

PENDONG!

Nuts (my ex-boyfriend) and I have always thought of saving up for a Volkswagen beetle car when we were still together. But now that we're not together any longer, I'm not sure if he would still want to get one,but I still would. Old school beetles are less expensive than other car models for some reasons: one, they are small and most of them did not have built in air-conditioning units; two, they have long been out of "fashion"; three, only a few people find them good-looking, some kids today even find it odd-looking; and four, they are hunchbacked! Who would want a hunchbacked car? I would. I still will.

We cannot deny it, no matter how beautiful a beetle may be, it is, and will forever be kuba! KOTSENG KUBA! If it were in a fantaserye, it could turn into something gorgeous like Ann Curtis, after swinging up and down a bell's rope cable in a bell tower somewhere in ABS-CBN.

When I was a kid, I never understood the essence of that phrase (or statement) and the actions that came with it. I never found anything funny about being kuba, or kalbo (Pendong! May Kalbo!). I was born in 1982 and the only kuba that I knew was Nana Baste, my Yaya Nora's 80-year old mother. Not until my family moved to Caloocan (from Bulacan) in 1991. Most of my cousins live here so I had a lot of playmates, mostly their kids (I was second to the youngest of around 30 Sanchez Cousins). So I played bahay-bahayan and teacher-teacheran with my nieces and nephews, most of them a few years older than me. My cousin Ate Do had a maroon-ish beetle. Here's where the story begins.

Ate Do and her husband always took the Kuba (sorry but that's how I really call a beetle) to work. Their Unica Hija Ching, my niece who's 20 months older than me, would go to my house almost everyday, or vice versa. We would play most of the day, depended upon the time of our classes and we had morning classes most of our elementary school lives. On times that I was the one who went to Ching's place, where some 6 more nieces and nephews lived because it was kind of a compound, I always heard that "pendong" phrase whenever Ate Do's Kuba came to the driveway. All my nephews and nieces would pass pendongs around like a basketball team playing their last 24-second shot clock – it happened fast, and one person got more than one pendong at once. Can you imagine? They all moved fast, making sure the pass (of the pendong) would be received and nobody avoided the pass – it was really like a basketball team, save for the annoying grins on their faces, and the chaos. It happened every single workday, except when the Kuba stayed for the day.

I cannot deny it but I also got a lot "pendongs" in my childhood.

I am not sure if the kids today still do that pendong thing. Maybe they do but the original Kuba is so scarce kids do not really have the kismet to get their own dose of pendong. I don't think they give away pendongs when they see the new toy-car looking hunchback from Toyota.

I also dreamt of having one of those for my own – what was that Toyota model? Was that Toyota? I forgot. Anyway, I've always liked the old Foksvagin (Volkswagen) Beetle. I think I'll have mine in shiny purple, pink, or yellow. Sleek stainless bumpers and side mirrors, high-freon ACU and tinted windows, and maybe a flower somewhere to complete the hippie look. Pretty huh? But then again, no matter how pretty my auto will be, Kuba is still, and forever will be Kuba.

24 May 2005 | 2:04 AM

Mga Bespren kong Pipi

Hindi ko pinili ito pero siguro, ito talaga ang nakatadhana sa akin. Ang kama ko ang isa sa mga pinakamatatalik kong kaibigan. Siya ang nakakaalam ng mga pinakatatago kong mga sikreto. Alam niya kung ilang ulit na akong umiyak. Alam rin niya kung paano akong kiligin, o matuwa. Alam niya kung ilang ulit ko nang binalak pumatay, o magpakamatay.

Hindi naman sa may tendency akong maging murderer, o suicidal, ngunit siya lamang talaga ang nakabilang kung ilang beses na akong halos mamatay sa kakatawa, o kakaiyak, habang may kausap sa telepono't nakahiga ako sa kaniya. Siya rin ang nakakaalam kung ilang ulit ko nang binalak patayin ang mga alaala ng ilang lumipas na pagmamahal o pagkabigo, at alam niya rin kung bakit.

Ah, oo nga pala, hindi pala siya nag-iisa. Kasama rin niya ang aking mga unan at mga kumot. Ang mga unan ko ang nagsisilbing mga tiga-bilang ng mga luhang pumapatak sa aking mga mata. Sila rin ang nagtatakip sa aking mga tenga kapag may ayaw akong marinig, halimbawa'y ang pagtunog ng telepono, o ang ingay ng ate kong kumakanta tuwing umaga kahit sintunado paminsan-minsan. Ang mga unan ko rin tumutulong sa aking hindi makita ang maliwanag na sikat ng araw sa umaga. Ngunit sila rin ang tumutulong sa aking managinip at makatulog ng mahimbing sa gabi.

Ang mga kumot ko naman ang tagaprotekta sa akin mula lamig, o sa lamok, minsa'y pati sa kilabot ng mga pusang nagse-sex sa bubungan ng kapitbahay. Maingay ang mga ito't parang mga batang umiiyak. Pero nariyan naman ang aking mga pinakamatatalik na kaibigan. Ang kumot ko rin ang tumatalukbong sa akin sa dilim kapag bigla akong nagising sa gitna ng gabi dahil sa isang masamang panaginip. Ngunit higit sa lahat, siya ang nagsisilbing tigapahid ng aking luha.

Sa umaga, paggising ko pa lamang ay nariyan na sila't nagkakagulo. Mga salasalabat na unan at kumot sa ibabaw ng kamang sinamahan ako sa buong magdamag. At iiwanan ko silang ganyan ang ayos. Hindi ko sila nililigpit, kahit palaging sinasabi ng mommy ko. Ayoko kasing isipin nilang may paboratismo ako sa kung sinong maiipit sa ilalim o magiging matayog sa ibabaw kapag pinagpatong patong ko sila. Masyado kasi akong madaming unan at tatlong normal ang sukat at limang maliliit, yun bang throw pillows. Pero ang hindi nila alam ay may paborito nga ako sa kanila. Yun bang throw pillow na ang damit at tinahi ko mula sa malambot canvass at ginuhitan ko ng imahe ng boar incarnation of Vishnu mula sa tinta ng fountain pen, kaya nga hindi ko ito hinihigaan. At lalong hindi ko iniiyakan, sapagkat madali siyang marurumihan at baka kumalat ang tinta nito. Kaya nga hindi ko ito pinapalabhan sa labandera. Ako mismo ang maingat na maingat na naglalaba nito.

Kahit hindi sila sumasagot sa tuwing tinatanong ko ng "ano bang ginawa kong masama?" o ng "sa tingin mo, gusto kaya niya ako?" ay gusting gusto ko pa ring nagkukuwento sa kanila. At lalong hindi ko inililihim sa kanila ang mga galit ko't mga problema. Pero sa isang banda, ang hindi nila pagsagot ang nagbibigay sa akin ng tunay na kalayaang umiyak, o humagulgol sa gabi. Ang lambot nila ang nagpapahintulot sa akin na matuwa o manggigil sa kanila at kurut-kurutin, o yakapin ng naaapaaakahigpit! Nuong bata pa ako't umalis ang nanay ko papuntang ibang bansa, yakap ako ng yakap sa kanila. Pinagdidikit dikit ko yung malalaking unan at yayakapin ng mahigpit, mataba kasi ang nanay ko. Kunwari, sila iyon. At ako'y bigla na lamang maiiyak. Ganundin sa una kong boypren. Dalawang taong naging kami pero ni minsan ay hindi ko siya nayakap. Sabi ko, "pag nagkita kami ulit ay yayakapin ko siya ng ganito" at yayapusin ang mga unan. Naiiyak ako tuwing ginagawa ko iyon dati. Dating dati.

Pero ngayon naman, kapag namimiss ko na ang aking boypren ay kinakausap ko rin sila. At natutulog ng yakap yakap ang isa sa kanila. Nakangiti akong matutulog at nakangiti ring magigising. Pero tuwing makakaproblema, lahat ng unan ko'y nilalagay ko sa aking paanan. Ayokong may katabi. Isa lamang na ulunan at isang nasa tapat ng mukha, wari bang kinakausap. Nilalabas ko ang lahat ng aking emosyon. Ang mga luha, galit, at ginagamit ko ang unang katapat ng aking mukha upang takpan ang aking pagsigaw. Upang hindi ako marinig ng mga nasa kabilang kwarto. Mahirap kasing magkaroon ng boypren na Chinese. Lalo't ayaw sa Pilipina ng nanay niya. Hay naku.

Madami na akong naihingang sama ng loob sa mga unan kong ito. Marami nang pinawing pagod ang aking kama. At ilang bagyo na rin akong pinrotektahan ng aking mga kumot. Libu-libong luha na ang pumatak sa kanila. Libu-libong katuwaan na rin ang naipagdiwang ko ng kasama sila. Sila ang nakakaalam ng mga bagay na tanging ako lang ang may alam. Sigurado akong ganun ka rin sa kama mo. Mga bagay na ikaw at ikaw lamang ang nakakaalam. Pasalamat ka sa mga kasama mo sa gabi na tahimik kang dinadantayan para maidaos ang magdamag.

Kalahati ng araw ko'y sila ang lagi kong kasama. Napakarami na nilang nalalaman tungkol sa akin. Alam kong napakatibay na ng aming bonding at hindi na mawawala ang loyalty nila sa akin. Nasasaksihan nila ang mga tangka ko sa kamatayan, o sa mga muling pagkabuhay. Totoo ngang hindi ko ito pinili pero ang aking mga tahimik na kaibigan ang hinding hindi ako iniwanan kahit kailan. Sila nga ang mga tunay na makakapaglahad ng kwento ko kung sakaling minsan sa sobrang kasiyahan o kalungkutan ay ako’y matuluyan.

Mga Bespren kong Pipi @ Peyups.com

Pope John Paul II - The Man

Just yesterday, the Pope's ailing condition was all over the world. Local and cable TV stations made their public announcements calling everyone to pray for the Pope's recovery. Then it hit us all, Pope John Paul II passed away at around 3 AM this morning. That's the first news that I heard today. That's the news on any local and cable station on TV. That's the news on every sidewalk and street corner. That's the news of the year, perhaps the news of the century.

I was one of the millions of people who attended the World Youth Day in 1995. It was one of the biggest people-participation events of the last century. Now everyone mourns, everyone grieves. Everyone pays respect, offers love and prayers. The Vatican was flocked by people from all nations and religions. Catholics, Christians, Buddhists, Hindi, Muslims and evenpagans and atheists. Because even if some people did not believe in a god, they believed in the Pope, the man.


03 April 2005 | 10:46 PM

Lush Greens, Fresh Air, Clear Skies

Sa lima't kalahati kong pananatili sa ating beloved UP, hindi ni minsan akong natakot na dalikado dito. Bago ako pumasok nung 1999, napatay ng ligaw na bala ang kaibigan ng Ate kong si Niño Calinao noong February 19, 1998. At kung tama ang tanda namin, December 8, 1995, Smoker's Night sa Engeneering, napatay naman sa isang assault si Dennis Venturina, na boyfriend ni Marilyn, kaibigan ng ate ko mula high school.

Sa kabila nito, at iba pang balita ng kaguluhan, payapa pa ring naglalakad sa loob ng Campus si Ate nung panahon niya. Gayundin ako. Minsan lang ako hindi pinayagang pumunta sa UP Fair dahil sa isang ongoing na frat ramble bandang 2002. Marami pang insidente ng krimen ang sumunod matapos nito. May natagpuang patay na tao sa malaking basurahan sa may AS Parking lot bandang 2003. Nung isang taon, may nagkagulo ring mga fraternities na ang dahilan daw ay ang katatapos lamang na USC elections. Aksidente ang kay Niño, kapabayaan at karahasan naman ang sa mga frat rambles. Napakarami pang ganitong eksena sa buong pamamalagi ko sa UP, nakalimutan ko na nga ang iba. Pero kampante pa rin ako.

Noong 2002, isang ormate ko sa UP Arki Forum ang nahablutan ng cellphone at nasugatan ng patalim sa may freshman walk (kalyeng nagdudugtong sa Faculty Center at Melchor Hall). Talaga namang madilim sa lugar na ito kapag gabi. Isang orgmate ko naman sa UP Rep ang nahablutan din ng cellphone habang nakasakay sa kakaandar pa lamang na jeep sa loob din ng Campus. Isa ding Repist ang nanakawan ng bag sa loob mismo ng AS noong 2001. Nalagay pa nga sa isang tabloid ang insidente at wala kaming magawa kundi matawa dahil nabanggit ang pangalan ng Repist na ito sa tabloid. Mali pa nga ang spelling eh!

Kamakailan, nagkaroon ng malaking pagbabago sa Campus. Isinarado ang mga lagusan kapag gabi. Para daw ma-monitor ang pagpasok at paglabas ng mga sasakyan. Pero aminin na natin na ang mga usual suspects ng pagnanakaw at panghahablot ng cellphone ay naglalakad lamang o nakamotor. Nagkaroon din ng iskema ng pagsasarado ng ilang pinto ng bawat gusali. Nagkaroon ng panahon na ang bukas na pinto lamang ng AS ay yung mula sa FC walk at AS walk. Dahil naman ito sa bomb scares, kasama na rin ang mga nakawan, idagdag na rin natin ang biglaang kakulangan sa mga gwardiya ng Campus.

Minsan, naglalakad ako sa may Freshman Walk nang may makitang nakaparadang kotse sa kahabaan ng kalsada. Naisip ko yung blockmate kong nadisgrasya dito. pero patuloy pa rin akong naglakad. Halos wala akong kasabay na mga tao nun, at mag-a-alas-dies na nun. Tuwing magkakaroon ako ng doubt sa seguridad ng UP, naiisip kong minamalas lang siguro ang mga naaaksidente dito. Ayokong maniwala na hindi na safe ang Campus para sa ating mga estudyante.

Nung biyernes lamang, March 18, habang nasa kasal ako ng isang kaibigan, tinext ako ni Thei, tinanong niya kung kilala ko daw si Kuya Merwin dahil namatay siya kagabi (Huwebes ng gabi). Nakilala ko si Merwin sa UP Laya Football Club, ang org na katapat namin (UP Rep) ang tambayan sa likod ng Vinzons Hall. Nagulat ako. Inisip kong wala namang sakit itong taong tinutukoy niya. Hindi ko kaagad naisip na naaksidente siya, hindi ko na talaganapagtuunan ng pansin yung tinext ni Thei kasi, coordinator ako sa kasal at ayokong malito dahil Military Wedding ang nagaganap. Baka biglang magkaroon ng mutiny sa reception pag nagkamali kami. Joke lang po. But kidding aside, hindi ko na muna talaga inisip yung text.

Habang pauwi kami ng mga Repists, pinag-uusapan nila na may napatay sa UP nung Huwebes ng gabi, nasa steps daw ito ng Beta Way na malapit sa AS Parking Lot kasama ang girlfriend niya. Nasaksak (o sinaksak) ng holdaper. Namatay ito habang nakatakas naman ang girlfriend niya. Nadinig lang daw nila sa balita. Wala akong ideya kung tiga-UP ang namatay. Pero nagulat ako at natakot sa nadinig ko.

Kinabukasan, Sabado, pag gising ko, una kong natanggap ang mensahe ni Jill. May nasaksak at namatay daw sa Laya. Dun ko lang nakonekta ang lahat. Na si Merwin, na sinabi ni Thei na namatay, ay ang taong sinasabi ng mga Repists na nasaksak sa may Beta Way. Noon ko naramdaman ang inis at pag-aalala. UP Student pa pala itong naaksidente. Sa unang pagkakataon, kung kailan grumaduate na ako, naramdaman kong hindi na nga safe sa Campus. Maaari rin namang mali lang sila nang napwestuhan at minalas, naaksidente. Hindi likas na delikado sa UP, sa loob-loob ko.

Sa kabila ng katotohanang bago kami na-relocate sa kasalukuyang tambayan ng UP Rep sa likod ng Vinzons Hall, makailang ulit kaming nanakawan ng lockers sa lumang tambayan na nasa Vinzons Hill. May isa kaming na upuan noon dun na hindi nawawala kahit maganda ito at yari sa bakal at fiber glass, hanggang sa tuluyan nga itong nawala. Sa bigat nito, tumiba siguro ang mga bakal boys. Naalala ko ring minsan nang nalooban ang bagong Rep tambayan. Pero kahit marami kaming crates at plastic containers ng costumes na naipundar ng UP Rep, ang nawala lamang ay isang pares ng rubber shoes na pambabae at ang lamang coins ng isang plastic jar na collection para sa isang event sa Engineering. Buti na lang at P13.75 pa lang ang laman nun! Hindi pinansin ng magnanakaw ang mga damit at gowns na nakahanger sa loob ng tambayan. Hindi pinansin ang termos, ang sirang TV at isang rotary phone.

Kinabukasan, Linggo ng gabi. Kausap ko ang isa namang orgmate sa UP Optics, na ang tambayan naman ay nasa likod ng Laya. Pinag-uusapan namin na ayusin na ang tambayan at dagdagan ng upuan, o kaya ng lockers o bulletin boards man lang. Sabi ko pa, nakakadena naman sa gate ng OSA yung mga upuan, hindi naman siguro mananakawan. Malaki pa rin nga ang paniniwala ko na hindi delikado sa UP. Habang pinag-uusapan naming ito, may natanggap naman akong mensahe mula kay Jake, tiga-Kulé. Nalooban daw ang tambayan ng UP Rep. Sa ikalawang pagkakataon na ito ay may kinuhang mga bag at gamit. 'Nyeta talaga! Nahuli daw ng mga gwardya sa Vinzons. Pero kailangan ng magko-complain kundi ay papakawalan nila. Si Jake, hindi naman pwedeng siya ang magcomplain, nandun lang siya bilang press. Buti na lang at nagkataong kakilala ko si Jake, at kilala siya ng UP Rep. Kung nagkataon ba ay napakawalan na itong mga nanloob sa tambayan namin dahil walang magko-complain kahit nahuli ito sa pagnanakaw? May SOP nga lang naman na sinusunod ang UPDP. At saludo ako sa mga manong guards na nakahuli ng mga kawatan. Yes, kawatan!

Nun ko naisip, how ironic. Pilit kong tinatanggal sa isip kong unsafe ang Campus. And just when I was beginning to convince myself, kami mismo ang nagawan ng krimen. Sana isa lang to sa mga "peak seasons" ng UP. Pansinin natin, minsang may krimen o aksidente o insidente sa Campus, hindi ito isolated case. May mga sususnod pa dito na relatively ay masasabi mong "kelan lang…". Pero pag "off-peak" naman, napakapayapa ng UP. Banggitin pa natin ang carless oval tuwing Linggo na puno ng mga pamilyang nagpi-picnic sa mga damuhan, mga lovers na holding hands while walking at mga barkadang nagja-jogging. Ang gandang view, diba?

Sana "peak season" lang talaga. Nagkataon lang ang magkasunod na krimen. Na minsan nasa atin din ang pag-iingat, at hindi talaga delikado sa UP. Sana talo pa rin ng kagandahan nito ang kapangitan. Not mentioning the academic and administrative concerns, because that's another story. All in all, dapat nakakaengganyo pa ring mag-aral sa UP. Makakapag-jogging pa rin with the scenic view of the setting sun behind the Main Libe. Na hindi tayo matatakot lumabas ng classroom o class-uwi na iskema. Dapat makakapaglakad pa rin tayo ng kampante sa loob ng Campus. Dapat ma-enjoy pa rin natin ang Sunken garden, ang AS walk, ang Lagoon. Lush greens, fresh air, clear skies…


21 Mar 2005 | 09:20 PM

The Man of my Dreams

There he was, sitting right across Abet and me. Trying to take a nap, his head fell back, resting on the wall. He was serene and charming with his eyes closed. Abet and I were watching him. We were whispering to each other, talking about how beautiful this man was. Abet was telling me that he looked really nice and intelligent. He said he thought this man's going to be a good husband to me. I said I think, he's even going to be a very good father to my kids.

This is the first meeting of Abet and my man. Abet said my man looked very fresh, and refreshing at the same time. I said I think it would be very nice walking down the isle one day, coming to his arms. I thought of the food that I would like to learn to cook for him. What a nice back massage would do to him after his day's work. How happy I would be to sleep beside him at night, and what bliss I would feel to wake up beside him every morning.

Abet promised to help me design my traje de boda and emcee in my wedding reception. Abet, my best bud, liked him so much for me, sometimes even liked this beautiful man for himself!

Abet looked at me in the eyes and said, without batting an eyelash "gumagawa pala si Lord ng ganyan kagandang nilalang, ano?" and I tapped him in the arm with a hushed giggle. My man slowly slightly opened his eyes, and looked at us. Abet and I just smiled, as if we were not really talking about him. "Go back to sleep," I whispered with a very low voice that I thought he did not even hear, but he gently closed his eyes again. And Abet and I started staring at his angelic face again. Abet scrutinized his cleanly cut nails and his polished shoes. He noted of his ironed pants and tucked shirt. He even noticed his white arms while I looked at the veins that faintly showed on his strained hands that held his bag on his lap.

Abet and I gazed at him like a wild flower in the bushes. We adored him like a porcelain doll. We looked intently on how perfect he looked, of how perfect he could be. We agreed at once that this individual was clever. That he was never arrogant or conceited. That he was always sweet and caring. His well-styled hair matched his flawlessly pointed nose and impeccably red lips. Then just as we were almost giggling again, he awoke. We could not help but tug each other's elbows and smile. This beautiful creature gradually moved his eyes towards us again. We tried not to look suspicious. We would not be caught dead talking about him in his face.

Abet could not resist. It was the first time he saw him. There, sitting in front of us in that not-so-crowded LRT2 train. Abet gawked at him one more time, he thought this could be the last time that he would see this beautiful creature, the next time would be on my wedding day. And the train stopped for our station. My man awoke when the train stopped and looked at us. We looked at him, as if saying goodbyes. We alighted the train and turned to see him again one more time for the last time. I could not resist too. It was also the first time that I saw him. But he has always been the man of my dreams.